In the Space of Non-Judgment


The rose does not care if someone calls it a thorn, or a jasmine.Ordinary eyes categorize human beings….Walk instead with the other vision given you, your first eyes. Bow to the essence in a human being. Do not be content with judging people good or bad. Grow out of that. ~Rumi

A few years ago, I was leaving the Mall of America. I was on my way to my husband’s grandma’s surprise birthday party, and I had just bought her a gift. The mall was busy, and I was in my car feeling rushed. I didn’t want to miss the moment where her face lit up when everyone yelled “Surprise!

While I impatiently waited for a red light to change green, I noticed the car ahead of me. It was filled with teenagers- two boys in the front, two boys in the back and a girl in the middle. I could hear the bass of their rap music going BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

Since I had nothing else to do but wait in the line I took more of an interest in this car full of teenagers. I noticed one of the boys passing the girl a joint. I could tell that it was marijuana by the way she held it and sucked the smoke in. I noticed the boy who was driving take a sip of something that he lifted from in between his legs. I imagined it was alcohol. Immediately I judged them. I thought to myself, How ignorant and stupid they are. Losers.

But then my inner vision shifted, and I connected with myself as young girl riding in the car with my boyfriend while we were getting high. I guess I had been stupid and ignorant too. Then I pictured my daughter, who was 14 at the time. This is the crossroad age where she could stay on the right path or take a turn on what is considered to be the wrong path. What if she was in this car with these boys getting high and putting her life in danger? How sad and scared I would be for her. What about their parents? Do they know where their children are tonight, and what they are doing? Do they care?

Our cars then began to move. I proceeded to follow them as we were going the same way, and I wondered what must be going on in their life for them to be taking so much risk with their lives. I remembered what had gone on in my own at that age. I was lost, confused and scared-unable to connect to a higher, more positive perspective. I had no choice but to act out my fears and apprehensions, just like I imagined these young kids were. I felt sad at this point. I wondered if they would climb their way out of the perceivable mess they were in. Would they be like me and get to the other side of addiction, drama, and self-destructive behavior? Or would they linger like many of my old friends in the same old thing, never giving themselves a chance for something higher; something greater?

I had no way of knowing, but as I watched them take their turn I sent them a blessing that they find their way in whatever way they knew how- knowing that maybe this was their way… for now. In the span of 5 minutes or less I was able to move from a place of judgment and condemnation to a place of love, empathy and compassion.

In that moment and the contemplative ones that followed I was able to see the divine order of the universe. Those children in that car had no idea they were my teachers that night. They taught me a lesson that now I hope I am teaching you- that we are all here to support and love one another- in a space of non-judgement. Whether we are conscious or not of this grand interplay, it is happening. Imagine then being conscious of it? Wouldn’t that make life more meaningful, and wouldn’t we have a far greater impact, on not only our own lives, but the lives of others?

To wake up in this way is to know the truth- or that it is at least possible to know- that we are truly loved by the All that we can call God, the Universe, Love, Light, that we can truly call each other.I bring this story back now to share because allowing space for non-judgment is crucial for us all now. From a perspective of love, we cannot hate, and think about what that could eliminate and bring forth?

Psalm 51:10 says, “Create in me a clean heart, O God.” Yes, clean out the hate. Clean out the fear. Finding in that clearing the love that is always present, always feeding us.These aren’t just words; this is a way we can choose to live. By doing so we begin our ascent into a deeper and more meaningful way to live; putting our best foot forward chiseling away at what diverts us from this love. The climb takes trust, perseverance and courage. But what is our other option- to live in fear- to be aggressive- to stay in judgment like I could have with those children in the vehicle- to stay in ignorance and not learned anything? Let’s choose what suits the world more holistically.

In what tight spaces do you hold contempt and judgment for yourself or others? How can you begin to open, and allow a greater, truer perspective to enter? When you do, your ordinary eyes will soften, your jaws will unclench, your mind and heart will expand, and extraordinary wisdom will be bestowed onto you.



Namaste, The Soul Reporter

2 thoughts on “In the Space of Non-Judgment

  1. >well I must admit I think and pretty much know we all judge people. Wrongly or not we do it, the real question in my mind is how long does it take to move through that that? Just as you have described as taking just a few moments. My challenge for us all is the next step of trusting they they will find the way and will get to the other side. Why? Because we are all heading to the same place. Some appear to be slow & some fast but we all will get there, if not we will end up taking the specific class of life lessons again. OBMO

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