>Independence Day

I took one of those silly Facebook quizzes. It asked me what’s important to me- or something like that. One of the choices was individuality. I didn’t want to choose it. I wanted to choose compassion, but individuality glared at me- imploring me to be honest.

This got me investigating individuality….

I guess I notice my individuality most in my relationship. I began it as a “co-dependent.” To claim my independence from my dependence, I forced myself out of the relationship for about 4 years. In this 4 years, I learned how to love, nurture and take care of myself. But I got lonely, and I desired marriage. Ironically, the man I was the most co-dependent with is the one I married.
This tie, shifted me back into my co-dependence, but instead of being all needy, I wanted to show him I didn’t need him. And then I would shift, and be needy.
This was the dance: I don’t need you. I need you. I don’t need you. I need you.
So as I sit here and ponder on this Independence Day what maintaining my individuality and independence will cost me. I realize- nothing- yet (because I had to learn). But I must begin to surrender it now.
There was a time claiming my independence was important but how important is it to me now? If I continue to hang on to my individuality, what am I missing out on? Well, I can see from my Facebook quiz, one of those things is compassion. As it stood next to claiming my individuality, compassion appeared weak and uninteresting. That can’t be a good for moving forward.
I suppose claiming my individuality has now become a mechanism of the ego- to keep me separate and out of touch with something larger and more real, something which could sustain me much longer. Perhaps this thing in which I speak is love.
Love is a power to unleash the compassion which will put a halt to the I don’t need him, I need him dance, and the I don’t need people, I need people dance. Which makes an interesting irony; as I surrender my independence I maintain my individuality, but I no longer have to claim it. I can share it, and revel in it and join in union with others.
On this Independence Day I am outing the glare of my ego, and freeing my need to stake my claim, and choose instead to release the love. I am sure, as with all transformations, what I release, in this case love, will begin as a small trickle. But with patience, faith and conscious choice, this trickle will soon ooze and perhaps, even gush when I least expect it.
This Independence Day claim your independence from whatever it is you are dependent on, and Gush!
The Soul Reporter

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