What’s Going On…?

I’m concerned. I’ve “met” a few people online. These people are kindred souls, or so it seems. We “like” each other’s updates. We may chat on line or email exchange. And then we might share a link or post an update or add a comment that shares our political or religious views/opinions- and then as they say, ‘the shit hits the fan.’

Example: I watched Fahrenheit 9-11 last week. I posted a comment about my experience of watching it again 10 years later, and a “friend” shared a link of a documentary that delved into another theory of 9-11, suggesting the government was behind 9-11 and there were bombs planted inside the towers. I had seen this before, and watched again with interest. After watching, I asked this “friend” why? Why would “they” want to do this? She posted another link about President Obama. I didn’ t finish the video, but what I gathered is he, like most presidents are puppets to coroporations, and specifically the Federal Reserve, which I have heard is privately owned.

During John Kerry’s democratic convention, a nice looking young man, named Barack Obama came onto the stage and lit my fire. He inspired forward a message of unity sitting stagnant inside of me and I said to myself, who is this guy? I like Barack. I always have. I believe he is a good man. I told my “friend” this, and also said that these political conversations don’t go anywhere because someone is usually trying to convince the other they are right.

She told me a good man wouldn’t have attended the church he did or married a woman who wrote some black supremacist diatribe against the “very culture who established the educational system she attended.” She went on to say I was blinded by my desire to have faith.  I told her that conspiracy theories, true or not are a distraction unless we are willing to revolt and take back our country. I told her I stand by my feeling about Barack and would admit I was wrong if he actually was the monster many portray him to be. I realized after I spent time bashing Bush, that I have no idea what it is like to be president, and therefore to judge the way the position is held is ignorant.

And this is where it got weird, and ugly. She brought up my decision to homeschool (in an eery throw it in my face sort of way) because of the faulty LA schools, she mentioned my husband, who is black. She told me all I do is contemplate my navel and asked, “What do you do for the world besides talk about yourself?” She then said she wouldn’t disclose any of the secrets (I guess) I told her because she is honest that way, and for now our paths will no longer cross. And then ended with the ever lovely, “Bless.” I was deleted from her Facebook friends and Twitter. Poof. Gone. See ya.

Here is why I am concerned. I have met others like this woman online and face-to-face in the past year or so. These people seem to spend a lot of time in isolation, in front of their computers. Here they explore these conspiracies and over time believe they are true. Also, the virtual friends they make allows them to fantasize about relationships that aren’t really real, except of course in their own mind. My projection of this woman in particular is she believed we were kindred spirits- that she had a friend in me, but as soon as I shared my own thoughts, which didn’t mesh with her own, she seemed to feel oddly betrayed and was done. And not only done, but threatened enough to attack in what she believed were vulnerable places for me.

You might say, who cares. But, while they might fear the government, I fear for them. The government and all the corruption that goes along with it, is an entity I choose not to focus on for the same reasons I am passionate about spirituality, but choose not to get involved with channeling and past lives and ghosts- it’s a distraction, and a can be a dangerous one.

Voltaire said, we must cultivate our own garden, so in a sense saying all I do is contemplate my navel and talk about myself is all I am supposed to do. It is really all I can do. It is all I know and want to know better. There isn’t enough looking within. There is too much looking out. This does not make one who does this naieve or selfish or unaware of the needs of others.  It makes one establish a solid foundation and from here discern what is empowering and useful and what isn’t, and the brighter, more abundant our gardens, the more there is to share. Back to our government-  I do not doubt there is terrible, ugly curroption within it. I am sure Barack is learning this first hand. But- right now I have no desire to start a revolt. I am still cultivating- and often sharing.

See, there is this law called karma and it happens with or without our saving or fearing the world. The darkness, secrets, lies are all being uncovered right now. It is why the world seems so dark at the moment. Karma is happening. I don’t have to read about conspiracies or get people on my side because what is happening inside the white house walls and corporate board rooms will take care of itself. As they ignorantly believe they are manipulating us, if that is what they are doing, they are merely only twisting tighter their own already tangled webs. Yes, some of us will and do get caught up in it and there are many who call out how unfair it is- but nothing is unfair. It’s karma. It’s what is, and we can look within and learn from what is happening or we can keep pointing the finger and believe our conspiracies and learn nothing, and abandon those who don’t get along with what we believe as Truth, therefore continuing to spread isolation, separateness, fear and ignorance- and from where I sit, the results are in.

In the past year, I have yet to get into a healthy debate or conversation with anyone. Instead I get deleted or ignored or attacked or leave myself, for the projections have gone too far.  I see posts and links and hear people being critical of the president. There is bitching because there was too much hype over Hurricane Irene. Suffering because there was not enough with Katrina. Truth, unity and freedom is discouraged and feared, even though we pride ourselves on encouraging them.

What’s going on….?

This cynicism, paranoia and intolerance is spreading like wildfire. I am reminded of my new dog, Olive. She is still a puppy- an Italian Mastiff. She is an anxious dog. Probably isolated before she came to us. Wasn’t around many other dogs or people. When we take her on walks, or when someone comes to the door, her hackles go up. Our trainer says this is not something we want because when she is anxious and her hackles are up she is more prone to be aggressive.

A Remedy…

There are a lot of people, it would seem whose hackles are up. Looking to be deceived. Abandoned. Betrayed. Look, and you will always find. I believe my “friend” thought I was naive. “Blinded” she said because of my need to have faith in a person (speaking of Barack). She asked, “What makes him good?” He has good in him as we all do. He has darkness too. We all do. There is a point of maturity, which happens if we cultivate our own garden, where we see the darkness in others, but we don’t fear it or condemn it or try and control it- we just notice it. We also Know in them is Perfection, something my dad has been saying to me lately. To not buy into “conspiracies” or “truths” does not mean we are stupid or naive. It means we don’t need to hang onto anything to feel right or secure or affirmed. It means we don’t take any of this so serisously we stamp people out for not agreeing with us. It means we keep our eye on the larger movement happening- that everything is bringing us deeper into our Perfection. As serious as it all is, it’s not that serious.

On the surface we see, feel and often become deeply entrenched in the chaos, but beneath the chaos is absolute perfect, divine order. Keeping at least one eye here, we do not need to argue or disagree or agree or resist or delete or do anything…at all. And in my case, I need not be concerned.

Namaste,

The Soul Reporter

An Ode (auhhh, maybe not an ode, but I like the title) to the Sigh

My children say I sigh. Usually when I am in the kitchen. They make fun of me. Sigh behind my back and giggle.

What are you giggling about? Auhhh…..they say.

Do I sigh? Really? Do I?

Yes, mom. You sigh.

The kitchen at one time pleased me. This time has passed. Now I sigh (so I am told) as I wash the counter. Marinate a chicken breast. Clean a greasy pan. Make breakfast….again.

The sigh, the sound of the martyr. Auhhh. The sound of poor, distressed me. Universal, I suppose amongst many women. The sigh says, Save me from this. Take me away….I am a victim. And I certainly don’t want to be that person, right……?

Well, so what if you are that person in a moment (or several). So what if you are acting as The Sighing Martyr in your one-act play. Hating her moment. Resisting her work. Despising her routine. Bored and frustrated by her life. So what. I never wanted to be The Sighing Martyr. I hate people like that, right? Well I did. But of course me hating that part of them is also me hating that part of me- and hating something doesn’t clear the way. Loving might not either (if you force it), but laughing at it might.

I hear myself sighing now- and before my sigh’s hhh’s hit the air, I laugh. I think of my girls making fun of me, Auhhh-ing around the house (thinking, yeah- you just wait). I think of my inner martyr and how tortured she thinks she is, and how she wants to make everything a dramatic event. It’s funny. And it eases her.

What are you doing right now…………………………..? (Duh, your are reading this…Okay, before this….?)

Before I wrote this most inspired sentence, I was procrastinating. Trying to find a way out of my writing. Help me. Save me. (The martyr is quite adaptable. She can put on an apron and pick up a pen- in this case throw the pen) I watched me act her out, as together we have procrastinated many times. I usually judge myself/her/we for this. This time I didn’t. I loved myself/her/we for it (and I didn’t force it).

I love you for all that you do (and don’t do)– can you say this to yourself? If not, can you at least laugh at yourself?

When we can laugh and love, we take the u out of auhhh and it becomes ahhhh. The u is what gets offended. The u is who carries a story of what you u think u are. What u think u should do. Of what u hate and hope u are not. You are more than what u think/fear/believe.

Ahhhhhhhh…………………..

Namaste,

The Soul Reporter

>The Man Behind the Counter

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There are moments when we see how delicately and masterfully we are weaved together. Moments where we leave our “everyday” consciousness and move into a space of keen observation where we access a greater understanding and opportunity to support the environment we are in.  These moments can happen in the most mundane of places.

I had one of these moments at the dollar store down the street from my house. My daughter wanted a new diary. I needed paper towels and a new dish scrubber. We found everything but the perfect diary, which can be difficult at a dollar store. At the check out, an elderly woman purchased three bags of items. She moved slow. Her speech was soft, and I could tell the cashier had little patience for her elderly ways. Before she could pick up her three bags full of dollar store goodies, the cashier began ringing up my items, and put my bag next to hers.  To me, he was open and friendly, asking how I am doing, and telling me to have a nice day.

Confused, she asked, “Sir, how am I to know which bags are mine?” He barely looked at her, and said, “I don’t know.”

“Here,” I said, “I will take my bag so you know which ones are yours.”

She began to put her bags in a cart, and asked, “Can I take this cart to my car? My husband is just outside waiting for me.”

The cart had one of those silly long poles attached to it. An ornament I’ve only seen here in California. It prevents people from getting them out the door.

Clearly frustrated with her and probably wishing she’d just leave, he gave a quick,”No.”

“Well, how do they expect me to take all my things to my car?”

“I’ll ask someone to help you,” but he didn’t.

What was going on with this young man? Why is he so bothered by her? His double chin hung down his neck. His large stomach heaved as he struggled for breath. He’s working at a dollar store. He’s probably not happy and he looks uncomfortable. Maybe he has issues with his grandmother. Or maybe she just died. Whatever the issue is with him, I observe how she looks at him when he speaks to her. She is too polite to cause a fuss, but she notices, and I sense his reaction penetrates deeply, as if she gets this response all the time.


I said, “I can help you.”

She looked at my daughter and the one bag in my hand, and answered as I know my grandma would, “You have enough to deal with. I will wait for help.”

I did not want to force my assistance, but I also did not want to accept her refusal. I waited by the exit to see if she would figure it out, or for the cashier to get her help. She started to move toward the door and I saw her husband in the handicap spot, waiting for her with his eyes closed.

I grabbed her three bags, and said, “I will help you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

I opened the door and put the bags in the back seat. As she got in her car, I saw the woman who was behind me in the check out line watching us, along with Lilli, my daughter. “Mom,” she said, “That was really nice. Why did you help her?”

I told her I didn’t like the way the man at the store was treating her and it was a reminder that someday, we all will have bodies that move slow and have speech that is soft, and we will need help and we will want to be treated kindly.

That night, I watched an Oprah episode. They talked about the chemicals in our bodies changing when we witness an act of kindness. I knew my daughter and this unknown woman experienced a change in their cells. The act was simple. Not a big deal for me to do. But….

What was a big deal, were my thoughts of the man behind the counter. I wasn’t angry or disgusted with him. I did not judge him. I noticed him and wondered what his pain was. In this space, I did not attack or scold. Instead I put my attention on what mattered most at that moment- diffusing and balancing the negative energy being projected at this elderly woman, who thought she was only going out for a few essentials at the dollar store. I thought the same thing.

Today’s Soul Tip:


A new way of being is breaking through for me. Where there was judgment there is now wonder and observation. Where there once was a reaction from that place of judgment, there is now a response to diffuse and restore balance. 


Everywhere are opportunities for us to observe and respond in more conscious and less judgmental ways. Moments where we can truly support each other, and in doing so we affect not only ourselves and those we assist, but those around us who are watching. It literally changes the environment.  As they say, BE THE CHANGE you seek. 


Namaste,

The Soul Reporter


In the Space of Non-Judgment

 

The rose does not care if someone calls it a thorn, or a jasmine.Ordinary eyes categorize human beings….Walk instead with the other vision given you, your first eyes. Bow to the essence in a human being. Do not be content with judging people good or bad. Grow out of that. ~Rumi

A few years ago, I was leaving the Mall of America. I was on my way to my husband’s grandma’s surprise birthday party, and I had just bought her a gift. The mall was busy, and I was in my car feeling rushed. I didn’t want to miss the moment where her face lit up when everyone yelled “Surprise!

While I impatiently waited for a red light to change green, I noticed the car ahead of me. It was filled with teenagers- two boys in the front, two boys in the back and a girl in the middle. I could hear the bass of their rap music going BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

Since I had nothing else to do but wait in the line I took more of an interest in this car full of teenagers. I noticed one of the boys passing the girl a joint. I could tell that it was marijuana by the way she held it and sucked the smoke in. I noticed the boy who was driving take a sip of something that he lifted from in between his legs. I imagined it was alcohol. Immediately I judged them. I thought to myself, How ignorant and stupid they are. Losers.

But then my inner vision shifted, and I connected with myself as young girl riding in the car with my boyfriend while we were getting high. I guess I had been stupid and ignorant too. Then I pictured my daughter, who was 14 at the time. This is the crossroad age where she could stay on the right path or take a turn on what is considered to be the wrong path. What if she was in this car with these boys getting high and putting her life in danger? How sad and scared I would be for her. What about their parents? Do they know where their children are tonight, and what they are doing? Do they care?

Our cars then began to move. I proceeded to follow them as we were going the same way, and I wondered what must be going on in their life for them to be taking so much risk with their lives. I remembered what had gone on in my own at that age. I was lost, confused and scared-unable to connect to a higher, more positive perspective. I had no choice but to act out my fears and apprehensions, just like I imagined these young kids were. I felt sad at this point. I wondered if they would climb their way out of the perceivable mess they were in. Would they be like me and get to the other side of addiction, drama, and self-destructive behavior? Or would they linger like many of my old friends in the same old thing, never giving themselves a chance for something higher; something greater?

I had no way of knowing, but as I watched them take their turn I sent them a blessing that they find their way in whatever way they knew how- knowing that maybe this was their way… for now. In the span of 5 minutes or less I was able to move from a place of judgment and condemnation to a place of love, empathy and compassion.

In that moment and the contemplative ones that followed I was able to see the divine order of the universe. Those children in that car had no idea they were my teachers that night. They taught me a lesson that now I hope I am teaching you- that we are all here to support and love one another- in a space of non-judgement. Whether we are conscious or not of this grand interplay, it is happening. Imagine then being conscious of it? Wouldn’t that make life more meaningful, and wouldn’t we have a far greater impact, on not only our own lives, but the lives of others?

To wake up in this way is to know the truth- or that it is at least possible to know- that we are truly loved by the All that we can call God, the Universe, Love, Light, that we can truly call each other.I bring this story back now to share because allowing space for non-judgment is crucial for us all now. From a perspective of love, we cannot hate, and think about what that could eliminate and bring forth?

Psalm 51:10 says, “Create in me a clean heart, O God.” Yes, clean out the hate. Clean out the fear. Finding in that clearing the love that is always present, always feeding us.These aren’t just words; this is a way we can choose to live. By doing so we begin our ascent into a deeper and more meaningful way to live; putting our best foot forward chiseling away at what diverts us from this love. The climb takes trust, perseverance and courage. But what is our other option- to live in fear- to be aggressive- to stay in judgment like I could have with those children in the vehicle- to stay in ignorance and not learned anything? Let’s choose what suits the world more holistically.

In what tight spaces do you hold contempt and judgment for yourself or others? How can you begin to open, and allow a greater, truer perspective to enter? When you do, your ordinary eyes will soften, your jaws will unclench, your mind and heart will expand, and extraordinary wisdom will be bestowed onto you.

 

 

Namaste, The Soul Reporter