Life.... I’m not getting my life right Nature.... She will keep destroying you until you see what you’ve done The Way Back Trail.... The Way Back Trail is more Relaxed and refined There’s a calmness to it A way of knowing The steps slow The air breathed A smile I’m not trying to get anywhere I’ve been A broken tree.... There She is again Within Her a touchstone Circles of life that tell Her Story Unburdened now by life, A relic of her life For me to wonder about To receive a lesson Back to the Way Back Trail.... The Way Back Trail is a gift I hope all receive It tells you more about those layers, those circles within So many circles They accumulate It’s important to sit and rest along this trail And listen, feel, understand And say thank you And ask: What do I need for my soul? What does my deepest nature want? ~Nikki, The Soul Reporter
I want to unfold. I don’t want to stay folded anywhere, because where I am folded, there I am a lie.” ~Rilke
I suppose I had a choice. But then again—maybe not.
My desires for a dream were strong. The dreams have not turned out as I had hoped. I sat in the despair, doubt and frustration of that…until recently.
In the years of following a dream, it was all I could do. The desires for certain outcomes were too strong. Looking back, it was almost as though all reason left me, and I have wondered what happened. It is good I have not continued to scold myself for what appears to be stupidity. Instead I trust I was not meant to stop myself from following the dream. I was meant to follow my desires.
Had I stayed with reason—done what is traditional—I wonder what would have become of me. I see a rigid, uptight young woman still living in fear. Although my dreams turned into many nightmares on this journey, I am left with something I would not have had otherwise.
It is what Rilke writes: I have been unfolded.
I trust the movement of my journey, and how it has unfolded. Reason was gone, and now it has returned. I now trust this, and move accordingly.
Follow your desires, and let the journey change you.
The Soul Reporter