Saying Yes to Life.

When I asked the question, When will I come alive? I didn’t realize the answer would be in a can of paint.


I wondered why I had a pit in my stomach as the painter opened the can and began rolling the paint. I was afraid to look, but trusted my daughter’s thumbs up. I peeked at the wall.

It invited me in, but to what I wasn’t sure. What I was only sure about is I didn’t feel well.

“It’s only a painted wall, mom,” my daughter said.

I went to the newly plum painted bathroom that did not scare the hell out of me and took a shower.

Hours before I was reading Wild Mind, a book about writing by Natalie Goldberg. She talked about alcoholics and artists being similar. How they both swim in darkness, but the artist, unless addicted comes through it feeling more alive. Where the addict stays in the deep—captivated, nearly drowning. I could relate, and although I am not a drinker I feel I have been swimming in darkness for a long time. I wondered, when will I come alive?


The paint, Bee’s Wax as its name, gushes with life, and to my surprise, why I felt sick. This buttery yellow concoction is asking me to come alive with it, and the sickness is my fear and resistance to its request. The paint the house came with is dull, safe and does not add much to the home. But Bee’s Wax says, Life! And, life says, live! 

It’s aliveness makes me confront my dullness, my safe pathway back to hiding and inertia. It offers the conundrum: Do I really want to come alive? As the buttery yellow continues to make its way, covering the dull gray this question will unfold. So far though, after getting clean in the shower, I trust it will be okay. I breathe more deeply into the change, and the invitation a can of paint can bring, making it more than just a painted wall- at least to a soul who is reaching through the darkness into new life.

As I ponder the future living with this color, I know the many moods and emotions will continue to move through the inhabitants of this house, but like a smile, inviting us out of our anger and sadness, this painted room will be inviting us into its aliveness day after day, and it is my hope we say, yes.


The Soul Reporter

Put It Away

Talk to me about the resistance to putting items away after you use them in your home…

Mail- what do you do with it after you get it out of the mail box? Do you make your bed every morning? What about your bath towel…? Are you like me and hang it up after you shower or like my daughter and keep it on your bed or dresser, damp?

The Handy Dandy Mail Cabinet

Maybe I have a disorder. Putting things away right after I use them. Opening the mail right when I get it and sorting it in my handy dandy mail cabinet. I don’t know, but if I do for me it is a helpful disorder. Not only does it create order inside my home, I think it might also deter chaos from coming into my home. What do you think?

Inspired Homemaking Tip of the Day:

For chaos free living in your home, put your stuff away after you are done using it. Don’t have a place for your stuff…? Well that’s a whole other topic. Our dog trainer said we want our new big dog to fit into our lives, not us fit into hers. For many of us we are allowing the piles of clutter to dominate our lives. Make your space yours by dealing with it before it deals with you. For further tips and suggestions, please comment or email me at nikki@nikkisacredspace.come or go to my Facebook page and we will chat there.