To Sprawl

Today’s Soul Report:

What if we were to see our roots exposed like this tree? How long would they be? How far would they reach? What understanding would this sight bring of who we are and where we have been and where we are going?

I came upon this tree last week. Earlier that week, I had lost our family dog of almost 13 years. This tree brought solace. I sat upon its roots, within its deep crevices. Wisdom. This is what I thought when I first saw the tree. What wisdom it must have, and would it share some with me.

I asked for its message, its lesson for me. I heard the word sprawl. The word sprawl means to spread out over an area in an irregular or untidy way. At first glance, to an “untrained” eye, I suppose the roots do look irregular and untidy. If it were on a person’s personal property they may even be seen as a nuisance, worrying about the foundation they might crack. To my eye, which sees the so called untidiness of nature as beauty and in perfect order, these roots were the most beautiful and magical image I have seen.

But what does the word sprawl mean for me? There is beauty, adventure, magic and beyond this- natural instinct to sprawl- from within our center to outside- everywhere. To touch as much as we can. To reach and expand to and for our fullest potential in this bodily, earthly form.

In my fear. My hesitation. My ability to over-think and out-smart, so not to let too much in for fear I may feel too good or be hurt too badly, I’ve not sprawled and expanded like I long to, as this tree has. As this tree shows. That is its lesson for me. Reach. Expand. Sprawl as I have never done before.

Today’s Soul Tip:

I’ve noticed a certain joy creeping up inside of me in this week of my dog passing. The grief, tells me to be loyal- remember no joy. Something bad has happened. As sad as it was to watch my dog die, as someone said, the experience showed me who I am and who I was in those moments was open, vulnerable and courageous. I faced what I feared. Perhaps facing our fears sprouts our seeds of joy. But how can they grow, if I squash them with my loyalty to sadness and despair. It is not that I choose to deny my grief. I feel it when it is here, but I am also aware I am more comfortable in grief, sadness and despair than I am in joy. I must make room for that which I am unsure of.

When we are being stretched to go beyond what is comfortable, we might feel pissed off. Scared. Disloyal. We think we do not want to be moved beyond what’s pleasant, but actually we do want this. We want to be stretched. Moved. We long to sprawl. Expand. To reach to our fullest potential.


The Soul Reporter

>Calling the Sacred Feminine out of the Shadows


A Dream:

I left a house naked wearing only a sheet. My intention was seduction and exposure. But, when I saw a man approaching me, I became frightened and thought better of my original intention. I ran back into the house where I locked all the doors, shut all the windows, and pulled down the blinds.
As a woman in this life, I am on a journey I have only begun to recognize. That journey involves what it means to be a woman right now on this planet. In a certain way, it is something I have denied, or overshadowed as I am not one who thinks of myself only as a woman, or as a Caucasian, or of Italian descent. I know myself as more, and am wary of the sort of pride, which comes with over-identification of any such aspect of ourselves.
Yet, to go on overshadowing what it means to be born a woman may mean I am missing out on an opportunity to consciously know the gifts of the Sacred Feminine, and how they might be used to help restore and heal the planet. This dream I had lets me know I am at least ready to examine the feminine, yet I also see I am not prepared quite yet to embody her true aspects.
What are her true aspects? Since, I am still hiding, I cannot claim to know. The dictionary says this about the feminine: having qualities of delicateness and prettiness. In music it is referred metrically as a weak beat. Based on these definitions, the feminine doesn’t seem to hold much strength. Yet, the predominate male energy running on the planet, suggests something different. On one end we receive the message we mustn’t reveal too much of ourselves. We must remain pure and wholesome, and in our standard roles of mothers and wives. On the other end, we receive the message we are here for the pleasure of men, and therefore must reveal ourselves more, but only as it pertains to our bodies and sexuality.

If the feminine is not powerful, than why the confusion? Why is it we don’t know what to do with the feminine? Why has it been oppressed for so long? So feared? Kept hidden in our religions except for the roles as mother, wife and prostitute? Why were “witches” burned at the stake for their healing abilities? Why are women beaten? Betrayed? Raped? Not fully honored, respected and treasured? Why was was it Eve who tempted Adam with the forbidden fruit?Why is the feminine hiding, and still being ignored?

A pharse, which keeps coming up for me is, “It is better you don’t see me for who I really am because if you did, I would frighten you, and at the very least make you uncomfortable.” Is this the domineering message the Feminine recieves, that it is better we did not see the beauty and power of Her? If it is, it is time for this message to fade into the back ground. But first, for this to happen we must want Her.
In my dream I wanted to leave the security of my home, and be naked because I wanted to seduce, and be seduced. To say this out loud, makes me feel a bit shameful and vulnerable. The act of seduction is not a desirable one. In the dictionary, to seduce means to attract someone to a belief or into a course of action that is inadvisable or foolhardy. It also is defined as enticing into sexual activity.
Of course my dream suggests, on the surface something purely sexual, and maybe even stupid. Why would I go out into the world in my nakedness trying to seduce and be seduced? Isn’t this leaving me open to be raped, or beaten, or betrayed, or ignored? This is the fear, right? When I saw the man and became afraid of what he MIGHT do, the desire of seduction was immediately shrouded, and I ran back to the security of my home, where I would no longer be seen.
We hide because we are ignorant, and we have been ignorant of the Sacred Feminine for a long, long, long time. Yet, somewhere deep within us, we understand the power She has, and I think some of us might be ready to get to know Her. This collective desire for Her, will begin to awaken Her. In many ways, this awakening process has already begun, for if nothing else we may know what the Sacred Feminine is not.
For me She is not the woman in the power suit exerting her place in corporate America. She is not the martyr who doesn’t take care of herself. She is not the woman hiding behind her perfectly displayed home and family. She is not “I am woman, hear me roar”, and who needs a man. But, She is perfectly and harmoniously placed inside the women who perform these “acts” each and everyday. It’s all apart of the Plan of awakening the Sacred Truth of the Feminine.
This Sacred Truth of the Feminine, if even a small sliver is revealed, is needed now. We are in trouble, and this is no doomsday speech. It is a rumbling I feel, as do many others. The now, late Michael Jackson (and no matter what we may think of him, he was a sensitive, in tune soul) said we have four years before there is no turning back the effects of what’s been done to the earth.
Mother Earth is sick, he said, like we get sick. She has a fever. And I ask who are the nurturers? The visionaries? The empathizers? The wise ones with the healing touch? Who kiss our foreheads and nurse us back to health, when we are sick? Women. Mothers. Daughters. Wives. And the men who embrace the feminine within them.
Russell Simmons recently tweeted, “The lack of female experssion in governing this world has caused a dangerous imbalance that could destroy the planet.” I will never forget the criticism Hillary Clinton received during the “fight” for the Democratic seat when she cried. What is wrong with this form, of what has been known as, feminine expression?
I used to have a statue called, the Weeping Buddha. He weeps for the suffering of the world. The earth. The children. The animals. For us, and our suffering. I say, let us weep. It is not weakness to weep. It is strength. And as the tears fall, we are cleansed, and our hearts open and the Sacred Feminine emerges to quiet the fever, that is raging across the planet.
As I close, again, I do not claim for even a moment to understand the Feminine aspect. I have just reached the tip of its depth. However, because of my dream I know there is something powerful brewing in my cauldron. I want to be naked. I want to seduce, and not for sex, but for a new way of being in this world. And why in my nakedness should I be ashamed? Should I be feared? Raped? Kept small, forbidden, locked up and hidden? The imbalance of too much masculine has eaten up many spaces of this planet, has caused the rape of the land, the children, the women. And this is no way to bash men. It is a promise to once again seduce the masculine, into biting the apple, but this time not in ignorance and shame, but for it’s original intent- for Her wisdom. Her healing. Her vision. Her power.
The emergence, and embodiment of the Sacred Feminine for both men and women begin with a desire not to hide, and be in our nakedness. To be real. True. Vulnerable. Exposed.
Naked defined means: to be without the usual covering or protection. To be exposed to harm; unprotected, vulnerable. In my idealist mind, there will come a time when this exposure will no longer cause weak and ignorant minds to harm because there will be no more weak and ignorant minds. And even now, as we see the “danger” exists, may we Know who we truly are, can never be harmed.
The Soul Reporter, simmering in her cauldron preparing to be exposed.

>The Cavern

>There’s a fear here I do not understand.

It is deep, and small.
I’ve been flirting with the entrance
thinking it no big deal.
But I’ve entered and
It is.
I can function, yes.
But there is no deep and concentrated joy.
Just life around, which I cannot enter in
The activity tantalizes and beckons.
But the fear keeps me still. Hidden.
We all wrestle with monsters.
This is mine.
Your opportunity will come too.
Will you know what to do?

>On the Periphery of Me

>You’ll always be on the periphery of me.

And for today it is okay.  
Because you are on the periphery, you will never see my complexities.  
You will never dwell in my vulnerabilities, and possibilities.  
Instead I become lost to you.  
And thoughts of me confuse you.  Overwhelm you.  
You think your blank stare will make me turn from you. 
I won’t.  
I am glad I am me, and not you.  
I can feel the pain of your stare, which means I will feel the joy of your Presence.  
Should it ever come.

Come closer, and the power of Me can sustain you. Fulfill you. Perhaps, consume you.
What are you waiting for?
If not you, then someone else.
He cannot give me what I need.
He’ll always be on the periphery of me.
And it’s not okay.