Don’t Try to Love Everybody!

Folks, meet my new spiritual teacher- at least via YouTube.

In this modern day, where spiritual teachers, healers, coaches and gurus are writing books and teaching classes and having sessions both on-line and off, it is refreshing to find one, thanks to a soul-sister over at Life on Purpose, who isn’t all serious and self-riteous about being positive or even saving the world or acting as if they have it all figured out. In fact, when a “student” comes to him/Mooji (if you saw in this video) wanting to make herself love everybody, Mooji says, “Don’t try to love everybody. Try to be fair, but don’t try to love.” He assures it is normal not to. “Be yourself. This IS the way. The rest will align itself appropriately.”

“All good habits manifest spontaneously in the deliberate mind.”

My mother has come to visit. She spent a few days with us, and now she is on a mountain visiting her cousin. Soon, we will pick her up and resume her stay. My relationship with my mother has been tiresome, brought on by a conflict between my child self, which feels neglected and my “self-riteous spiritual” self, which feels I should be over it, and show her love.

The night before she arrived, I said to my daughter- let’s intend to appreciate all the parts of my mother. The part that gets angry when we don’t roll out the red carpet for her arrival. The part that pretends she understands what we are saying, but she doesn’t. The part that wants to please instead of be honest. I thought it might be possible, for I am appreciating all of my parts as well. And I must say, the first round of mother went well.

Sure, there were moments where I was annoyed, but mostly there was a new me- (but more truthfully the ever present me hidden under the conflict), a flexible and observant me, who is not emotionally attached or manipulated by past hurts, and who is free of trying to force myself to love or to be kind.

I hear people say things like, you know I am really relieved this or that is over, but I should really be grateful. Or as the woman said on the video, how can I make myself love everybody. Where did all of these ideas come from? That we should walk around in gratitude all day, everyday. That we should love everyone.  These good habits can not arrive spontaneously or at all if we continue to “should” ourselves. If we think we have to be Mother Teresa like. None of this makes us spiritual. We already are of Spirit. We need not do anything to attain spirit. We only need to BE OURSELVES, and sometimes that means a journey of trying to be anything but.

Namaste,

The Soul Reporter

What’s Going On…?

I’m concerned. I’ve “met” a few people online. These people are kindred souls, or so it seems. We “like” each other’s updates. We may chat on line or email exchange. And then we might share a link or post an update or add a comment that shares our political or religious views/opinions- and then as they say, ‘the shit hits the fan.’

Example: I watched Fahrenheit 9-11 last week. I posted a comment about my experience of watching it again 10 years later, and a “friend” shared a link of a documentary that delved into another theory of 9-11, suggesting the government was behind 9-11 and there were bombs planted inside the towers. I had seen this before, and watched again with interest. After watching, I asked this “friend” why? Why would “they” want to do this? She posted another link about President Obama. I didn’ t finish the video, but what I gathered is he, like most presidents are puppets to coroporations, and specifically the Federal Reserve, which I have heard is privately owned.

During John Kerry’s democratic convention, a nice looking young man, named Barack Obama came onto the stage and lit my fire. He inspired forward a message of unity sitting stagnant inside of me and I said to myself, who is this guy? I like Barack. I always have. I believe he is a good man. I told my “friend” this, and also said that these political conversations don’t go anywhere because someone is usually trying to convince the other they are right.

She told me a good man wouldn’t have attended the church he did or married a woman who wrote some black supremacist diatribe against the “very culture who established the educational system she attended.” She went on to say I was blinded by my desire to have faith.  I told her that conspiracy theories, true or not are a distraction unless we are willing to revolt and take back our country. I told her I stand by my feeling about Barack and would admit I was wrong if he actually was the monster many portray him to be. I realized after I spent time bashing Bush, that I have no idea what it is like to be president, and therefore to judge the way the position is held is ignorant.

And this is where it got weird, and ugly. She brought up my decision to homeschool (in an eery throw it in my face sort of way) because of the faulty LA schools, she mentioned my husband, who is black. She told me all I do is contemplate my navel and asked, “What do you do for the world besides talk about yourself?” She then said she wouldn’t disclose any of the secrets (I guess) I told her because she is honest that way, and for now our paths will no longer cross. And then ended with the ever lovely, “Bless.” I was deleted from her Facebook friends and Twitter. Poof. Gone. See ya.

Here is why I am concerned. I have met others like this woman online and face-to-face in the past year or so. These people seem to spend a lot of time in isolation, in front of their computers. Here they explore these conspiracies and over time believe they are true. Also, the virtual friends they make allows them to fantasize about relationships that aren’t really real, except of course in their own mind. My projection of this woman in particular is she believed we were kindred spirits- that she had a friend in me, but as soon as I shared my own thoughts, which didn’t mesh with her own, she seemed to feel oddly betrayed and was done. And not only done, but threatened enough to attack in what she believed were vulnerable places for me.

You might say, who cares. But, while they might fear the government, I fear for them. The government and all the corruption that goes along with it, is an entity I choose not to focus on for the same reasons I am passionate about spirituality, but choose not to get involved with channeling and past lives and ghosts- it’s a distraction, and a can be a dangerous one.

Voltaire said, we must cultivate our own garden, so in a sense saying all I do is contemplate my navel and talk about myself is all I am supposed to do. It is really all I can do. It is all I know and want to know better. There isn’t enough looking within. There is too much looking out. This does not make one who does this naieve or selfish or unaware of the needs of others.  It makes one establish a solid foundation and from here discern what is empowering and useful and what isn’t, and the brighter, more abundant our gardens, the more there is to share. Back to our government-  I do not doubt there is terrible, ugly curroption within it. I am sure Barack is learning this first hand. But- right now I have no desire to start a revolt. I am still cultivating- and often sharing.

See, there is this law called karma and it happens with or without our saving or fearing the world. The darkness, secrets, lies are all being uncovered right now. It is why the world seems so dark at the moment. Karma is happening. I don’t have to read about conspiracies or get people on my side because what is happening inside the white house walls and corporate board rooms will take care of itself. As they ignorantly believe they are manipulating us, if that is what they are doing, they are merely only twisting tighter their own already tangled webs. Yes, some of us will and do get caught up in it and there are many who call out how unfair it is- but nothing is unfair. It’s karma. It’s what is, and we can look within and learn from what is happening or we can keep pointing the finger and believe our conspiracies and learn nothing, and abandon those who don’t get along with what we believe as Truth, therefore continuing to spread isolation, separateness, fear and ignorance- and from where I sit, the results are in.

In the past year, I have yet to get into a healthy debate or conversation with anyone. Instead I get deleted or ignored or attacked or leave myself, for the projections have gone too far.  I see posts and links and hear people being critical of the president. There is bitching because there was too much hype over Hurricane Irene. Suffering because there was not enough with Katrina. Truth, unity and freedom is discouraged and feared, even though we pride ourselves on encouraging them.

What’s going on….?

This cynicism, paranoia and intolerance is spreading like wildfire. I am reminded of my new dog, Olive. She is still a puppy- an Italian Mastiff. She is an anxious dog. Probably isolated before she came to us. Wasn’t around many other dogs or people. When we take her on walks, or when someone comes to the door, her hackles go up. Our trainer says this is not something we want because when she is anxious and her hackles are up she is more prone to be aggressive.

A Remedy…

There are a lot of people, it would seem whose hackles are up. Looking to be deceived. Abandoned. Betrayed. Look, and you will always find. I believe my “friend” thought I was naive. “Blinded” she said because of my need to have faith in a person (speaking of Barack). She asked, “What makes him good?” He has good in him as we all do. He has darkness too. We all do. There is a point of maturity, which happens if we cultivate our own garden, where we see the darkness in others, but we don’t fear it or condemn it or try and control it- we just notice it. We also Know in them is Perfection, something my dad has been saying to me lately. To not buy into “conspiracies” or “truths” does not mean we are stupid or naive. It means we don’t need to hang onto anything to feel right or secure or affirmed. It means we don’t take any of this so serisously we stamp people out for not agreeing with us. It means we keep our eye on the larger movement happening- that everything is bringing us deeper into our Perfection. As serious as it all is, it’s not that serious.

On the surface we see, feel and often become deeply entrenched in the chaos, but beneath the chaos is absolute perfect, divine order. Keeping at least one eye here, we do not need to argue or disagree or agree or resist or delete or do anything…at all. And in my case, I need not be concerned.

Namaste,

The Soul Reporter

Investigating (with slight irritation) Certain Spiritual Teachings

Teaching up for investigation: “It’s not up to you what you learn, but only whether you learn through joy or through pain.” ~A Course in Miracles

Upfront disclaimer: If you hear a charge in this post, you are right on. I’m irritated with certain spiritual teachings (I’ll get through it, but right now I am learning in a slightly painful way). I think some teachings are only useful in keeping us away from the real work, which in the long term is not useful. This one (above) for example has those markings. So, let’s investigate- if I believe in this teaching, that would mean I have no possibility of insight into my lessons. There is some being somewhere in charge of what I need to learn. It would also mean that I have a choice whether I learn through joy or through pain. I would agree, we have choice- and if I am using my strong will, I can will myself to choose to learn through joy, instead of pain. I mean who the hell really wants to learn through pain…..?

But, can we be honest? I can’t be the only one who has learned a lot of my lessons through intense amounts of pain. Pain, I was so immersed in I didn’t have the will power to choose joy, to even think that was an option. Does this then make me weak? Insufficient because I chose to suffer instead of jump to those lessons with glee?

To learn in joy is a certain kind of mastery I don’t believe I could even talk much about (I don’t like to talk about ideas without having personal experience). I’m not there. I think it’s possible for those who have worked diligently and intently on their path, and gone through lots of pain, but for most of us common folk, still ignorant to our True nature, this type of spiritual teaching might not be helpful. It keeps us in the superficial layer of our spiritual growth, where we think we can control how we feel by will alone. And where some of us who have gone a bit deeper than the superficial layers might feel bad because we aren’t choosing our lessons through joy. There were many times, as much as I was inspired by Wayne Dyer’s teachings, I felt like a failure because I wasn’t all happy, happy, joy, joy and maintaing my spiritual perspective through my shit, my hand on the trolley strap, so to speak.

To go back to this teaching that it is not up to us what we learn- this makes me feel disempowered. I know there is a soul, and I know contained within this soul are my lessons. I believe these lessons are universal, and we will all learn them as we are ready, which means we are the ones who choose to receive those lessons or to put them off. I also know we are given the extraordinary gift of insight, which can be used to look within and have knowledge into our lessons. I also trust, as we evolve into this soul, we will be able facilitate and consciously prepare and participate in those lessons. We may not know how those lessons will come to us, but we can know they are coming and will remain open and ready to receive. This may be the point in which there is joy- a sort of anticipatory joy, like YAY! Today I am going to be stretched and I can’t wait because I want to grow. But so many of us are unaware of this going on inside of us so how can we consciously participate, let alone joyously (therefore not knowing might be a more comfortable belief for those wanting to stay safe on the shore). This means the lessons that do come are probably going to hurt like hell because we don’t know what is going on or why and we are resisting them all the way.

Looking for the positive:

What this spiritual lesson does do is bring awareness that there are lessons we will learn and are learning. That is essential to know. It gives perspective. It also brings awareness to choice of joy or pain, but it doesn’t go deep or wide or guide enough to where many of us are right now in our evolution- not where we can choose joy in a pure authentic way while we grow (but we can pretend :-). Having only read bits and pieces of ACIM, maybe it does do this throughout the book. What I did read, the words inspired higher aspects, but it wasn’t very grounding for me. I am not content only with ideals. I want to be those ideals, and that is quite a process of unraveling and discovering. It’s work. Often painful- just being honest.

Lesson: The most helpful teaching/teacher for me inspires my true nature, while also holding the space of where I am with insight, guidance and compassion.