3 Reasons to Explore the Soul

There is a quiet, which happens when the end of something comes. The first time I felt this is when my dog, Charlie died.

He had been struggling for months. Collapsing frequently because of a heart condition. I begged that he go peacefully, and under the moon on our concrete patio, he took his last breath. Quiet. He was gone. Just like that.

The next time I felt this quiet was around this time last year. I wrote: I know something is coming to an end. On the outside, it may not seem so. But, inside I feel it, and today I declare it. It’s over.

I went on to say: Unlike Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” banner for a war that was truly beginning instead of being over, this declaration is more a process, like Spring turning into Summer. 

Little did I know, my war was just beginning- and it would be a process.

The soul is an interesting space. I was told by someone last week that it is not a mine, and therefore we should not dig around in it. “We should leave it be,” he said.

I do not agree. Here is why:

  • I would say the soul is the only space worth exploring.
  • There is nothing in there to change, only to discover and understand and with understanding we do change, and become more ourselves.
  • To explore in this space is like finding we have our very own built-in GPS,  filled with all the resources we need to live our life as consciously as possible.

What are your thoughts about the soul? Is it a space worth discovering? Or should we just leave it alone? Can you relate to what I said about the quiet, which happens when something is ending?

Leave a comment or fill out the form below.

Also, if you are interested in exploring your soul further, fill out the form and check “yes, I’d like to schedule my free session.” For more information about the session, click here.


10 Reasons to Know the Soul

Hi. So I’ve been writing about the Soul- mostly my own, for about 7 years on this blog: The Soul Reporter.

Based on how slow my following has happened, I might assume The Soul is not a popular or trendy topic. But, it is what I know, and desire to know more of. And “they” say do what you love, what you know. So, here I am writing about the soul.

And here I am offering a service as well…Your own Soul Report. 

What in the heck is a Soul Report…? 

Inside of us is the soul, and I see it a storehouse of spiritual/universal/personal lessons, which help us grow and expand, and where we can meet who we are. Think of it like a map. 

Therefore, I am offering investigative, soul-searching sessions where we will work one-on-one via phone, email and/or Skype, to dig into this storehouse, and find your map.

But, why on earth is this soul-searching work important? Here are some reasons why:

  • To begin healing old wounds, and the emotions and thought structures within them.
  • To become more compassionate because once we know more about ourselves, we will understand others. We need more of this.
  • To realize more freedom- within self, life and relationships.
  • To development the spiritual attributes of courage, patience and wisdom.
  • To begin the journey from the head to the heart.
  • To receive a higher/deeper perspectives, which will allow us not to get stuck as often or as long when we face difficult and challenging experiences.
  • To be better spouses, friends, children, parents, people.
  • To live without agenda. Be one of the few who actually are not bothered by insecurities,which often distract from our growth, and hurt others.
  • To become your best friend. To hear your Voice. And know your Truth.
  • To have more moments of expanded peace & pleasantness & to feel we are conquering & surrendering to the only space worth conquering & surrendering- ourselves.

I hope these reasons make you want to take the next step. If so, fill out the form below. The first session is free, so there is nothing to lose. And here, let me tell you a secret, and maybe it’s inappropriate, but it comes from my heart and soul: this IS the work I want to do with people- and I know it’s the the best work we will ever do.

For more information, click here.  To begin the process of receiving your Soul Report, fill out the form:

To Purchase Session(s), click here for the rate of $75/hour. Too much? Let’s talk. 


The Soul Reporter

Soul Glimpse: Soul Work

This poem, Join is the essence of Soul Work: the inner work we all have the opporuntunity to do right now while we are here.

The best course is your own soul. Therein lies all the wisdom you will ever need.

The soul is a space where, as some travel within it, may wish to have guidance. While others are curious, but may need some preparation to dive in. I provide both. If you are interested in learning more and having a free session to initiate the journey, click here.

Otherwise, this site is here to provide insights and resources for the best, and most difficult work we will ever do. To stay updated with other courses and resources, sign up for the newsletter, Join here. Or just fill out the form below.


The Soul Reporter

Is It Time to Live Deeper?

The only useful purpose is to turn within and realize. There is nothing else to do. ~Ramana Maharishi

Now Available: SOUL Exploration & Investigation Sessions~

There are so many voices, pulling us here and there. Some come from society’s standards; from our upbringing; current lifestyles begging for our attention. But, the deepest and truest voice comes from inside the soul.

The soul is a deep and expansive space, a space often neglected in our lives of living in many directions. If you desire more clarity, freedom and unification; if you are curious about yourself and you seek something more; if you have been traveling the path of self-knowledge for some time and feel you’ve plateaued- our sessions together will open the door wherever you are on your journey, so that you may live deeper and find more inner stability, wisdom and flexibility.

The life which is unexamined is not worth living. ~Plato

I consciously began my journey of self-knowledge more than 20 years ago, and bring the spiritual perspectives, insights and experiences I have gained along the way to help interpret, intuit, guide and facilitate our sessions.

And you, when will you begin the journey into yourself? ~Rumi

Sessions are held by phone or Internet (Skype, chat, email).
Time slots available are: Monday-Thursday 11:00am, noon, & 1pm or 7:00pm & 8:00pm PST
To schedule an initial (free) meeting, fill out the contact form below with your desired time slot in the comment section.

To Purchase Soul Work Session(s) click here

Soul Work With Me

Today’s Soul Report: Soul Work (for a brief synopsis of Soul Work with me, click here)

The only useful purpose is to turn within and realize. There is nothing else to do. ~Ramana Maharishi

Let’s take a trip. It’s going to be dark, so you’ll need a light. What would you like to use? That funny miner hat with the light on it? Or how about the lighted necklace, the young boy uses in the movie, Sanctum to find his way through, and out of an underwater cave? Whatever image you have for your light, take it with you, and let’s dive.

We are going to investigate your soul. Sound intriguing? The soul is a space worth digging into. The soul is a space often neglected, like the drawer or closet in our home we don’t want anyone to see. But, the soul wants to be seen, and we are the only ones who can open the soul’s door, dig in, and do the work.

Why do this work?

“Times are difficult globally; awakening is no longer a luxury or an ideal. It’s becoming critical. The earth seems to be beseeching us to connect with joy and discover our innermost essence. This is the best way that we can benefit others.” Pema Chödrön

I don’t think I can say it any better than Pema.

If you seek to discover your innermost essence & to benefit others in an authentic way, Soul Work is a way to this. The following is also what you can find:

  • Flexibility within yourself, which allows for greater flexibility with others.
  • Space- the time within fear, anxiety, frustation and depression are less, which means other dormant feelings can arise, such as:
  • Laughter. Smiling. A sense of personal freedom.
  • The exposure and transformation of dramas like- “victim” and “perfectionist.”
  • Your talents, passions and desires and an energized focus to see them into manifestation.
  • A new way of being in your relationships.
  • Essentially, a recapturing of your essence.

And all of these results, and more that you will find upon your journey, takes work~

Work. Keep digging your well. Don’t’ think about getting off from work. Water is there somewhere. ~Rumi

If we want to clean out that closet or drawer with all the crap in it so we might open it up as a beautiful sanctuary for ourselves and others, then we are going to have to do some work. We will have to first, open the door. Then be brave enough to keep opening the door because at first it might be overwhelming. But, we don’t have to take it all on. We can start in a corner, an extra small space, and get to digging.

This is Soul Work. Opening. Looking. Investigating. Clearing. And usually not just once because in the soul are many, many layers.

Layers of what?

The places unseen are what cause the most trouble.

Well, I call it clutter. Clutter is defined as: a confused disorder, to fill so as to hamper movement and lower efficiency. There are many forms of clutter~ all in the soul, however to begin the work, we might chose to start digging in one of the areas below. These are the forms of clutter most dominant in our culture today:

  • Home- is your home in a state of disarray? Does your home provide comfort? Solace? Or as Oprah would say, does your home “rise up to greet you?” If not, dealing with the clutter in the home might be a great place to begin.
  • Body– is your body stiff and sore? Are you overweight? Fatigued? Chances are your body could use some healing.
  • Emotional– do you feel numb? Or do you create a lot of drama? Are you on anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds? Rumi says, our emotions come to clear us out for some new delight. But are we allowing them to move through and clear?
  • Mental– feeling foggy? Distracted? Confused? So many thoughts….need I say more?
  • Relationship– feeling stuck in your relationships? Do they feel dry and dull? Unfulfilling? Often, as we begin to awaken the dynamics in our relationships, our relationships change.
  • Societal- don’t feel like you are living your own life? So many of us are living lives we would never live if we were more awake in our lives and aware of who we are.
  • Soul– all of these are a part of the Soul, and if we feel the need to go within, then dealing with our Soul Clutter is a good place to begin.

Why dig through the clutter?

Well, first because most of us aren’t over anything. Our childhoods. Traumas we’ve had. Losses we’ve experienced. Inside our souls, they sit and stir. They trouble us. They haunt us. With them, we project. We assume. We remain ignorant to who we truly are, acting out in various roles such as “the victim.”

But beyond this- once we work through this is…..

In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order. ~Carl Jung

a foundation of order. Not of rigid order, but of divine order. A fluid order, and clutter obstructs the flow. Creates inefficiency. What’s important to know, especially while digging through the accumulated stuff, is the flow is always happening and the order is always present. The goal is to become conscious of it and to move upstream for awhile, as the Buddha would say- to clear and become conscious of who we are and who we are not.

Life is series of awakenings. ~Sivananda

To awaken to ourselves is the only work worth doing. Within the layers are aspects/parts of ourselves holding treasures and gifts, patterns and beliefs. Our desires and talents are here. Our wisdom is here. Insights are lying dormant awaiting our presence. And yes, there is pain there. Maybe as we dig, we find ourselves, one day sitting on the front stoop, crying about our dog that passed away a couple of years ago. This is a layer we haven’t fully felt and to feel it, to allow space for it, frees us. And this is what I am truly after- freedom, for you and for me. For this, we must realize Buddha’s desire- the end of suffering. I know that end is possible. Pain, we will still have, but to suffer in old mind sets, in continuous drama, and the accumulating of clutter can end, but only with our continuous effort.

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not starting and not going all the way. ~The Buddha

Okay, so now what?

And you, when will you begin the journey into yourself? ~Rumi

Maybe you’ve already started digging and you’ve hit a wall and need an extra push. Or maybe you’ve just begun and you are looking for guidance. If so, I am here to be that guide. To be that push. And if that feels right, then here’s some information about me to know~

There is a force within that gives you life- Seek that. In your body there lies a precious jewel- Seek that. Oh, wandering Sufi, if you are in search of your greatest treasure, don’t look outside, Look within and seek That. ~Rumi

I’ve been seeking That. I began my “Soul Work,” consciously at least 20+ years ago. A few years ago, several groups of words came to me, which are continuously developing into a process to initiate and lead Soul Work. Also, I attended life-coaching training, and received a variety of techniques to open up the unconsious mind, which help bring what is unconscious, conscious so that we may experience a shift.


Right now as I begin to open the door of offering this service, I am in the process of gathering all my tools, both from training and through paying attention to my own Soul Work, and bringing it into a flexible form to help others as they begin to dig in, and do their own exploring. This work, of course can be done alone, but a guide who is committed to their own Soul Work will provide guidance and perspective, and make the journey less isolating. In our day to day lives, it is important to dedicate a concentrated time looking within, having someone there with us for just purpose.

The life which is unexamined is not worth living. ~Plato

Soul Guide~

I am not a therapist (although I’ve been to some and most weren’t so great), or even a life-coach (although I have training as one), but I see myself as a Soul Guide. It is the work I have done for myself and continue to do. It is the work I do with my children. It is the work I do with others who are ready and interested and curious.

So, if this is you- you can click here to purchase your Soul Work Session(s) or fill out this form for a free initial meeting to speak about your needs, or if you have any questions about Soul Work.


The Soul Reporter

Go Deeper

Today’s Soul Report: The Spiritual Life

Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life. ~Buddha

I heard about a man who left his wife and children to pursue a spiritual adventure. I listened to a man preach from the Bible, and yet he smoked and drank. A woman says, “I am a Christian, but I don’t know enough about the Bible to have a conversation about it.” I see religious politicians on their soap box to reform homosexuals. I’ve called myself spiritual and have found myself intolerant of others.

If we call ourselves Christians and participate in self-destructive behaviors, while preaching the Word- I say, go deeper. If we call ourselves spiritual, yet find we are increasingly intolerant of others- I say again, go deeper. If we think we can’t be who we are without leaving a relationship or go om with the monks, again, go deeper.

Our spiritual life is not intended to stop once we proclaim, I am Christain, I am spiritual. I am this. I am that. The spiritual life continues. It expands. Deepens. Widens. A spiritual life need not restrict or exclude. Condemn or cut us off. And further the spiritual life has everything to do with who and where we are right now, which means the smoking, drinking, judging, leaving- whatever. It has to do with ourselves, and everything that means, some of which we know, most of which we don’t.

The spiritual life is first of all a life.
           It is not merely something to be known and studied, it is to be lived. ~Thomas Merton

There is a disconnect happening, at least that I see, and I believe it is because our awareness of the spiriutal life is in our heads. We listen, mostly, to the ideas in our head that we believe to be true, instead of listening to our soul. In order to go deeper, we must move our awareness away from our heads and into our soul space. Beyond this, I am not sure, but the soul is where I see, is the next space for humanity to move.

The soul speaks a different language. It’s more subtle. Flexible. Honest. It might speak to us in images or feelings or words, which surface spontaneously. Once there, we will be moved to spaces within us that might frighten and overwhelm us, but as I said in my previous post, the only way out is through and I do believe, many of us have yet to get over many of the experiences we have had in our lives. Our childhoods still haunt us. Traumas are still buried. Dreams ignored. There is a lot there to realize. And no matter what cliches or beliefs we hold and proclaim, if there is something troubling our soul, the only way to move through it is to look at it. Connect to it. Learn from it, and therefore grow because of it.

To live deeper and grow, we must move beyond our superficial and lazy way of living the spiritual life. We must question our current beliefs. Stretch our commitment beyond saying the right things or accepting the right savior. To say or think any thing that we have not fully realized from within does not make us of sound mind. It may provide some relief, and have us put off what we know we must do, for another day. But, if we want more inner stability. More wisdom. More flexibilty. Freedom. More of who we are- then, we must go deeper.

I guess it comes down to this: do we want something lasting and true or do we want something superficial and convenient? Do we really want to know who we are or just think we know who we are? Do we want to commit to living deeper now or later?

For those ready to excavate the soul, go to the “Soul Work” tab to learn more, and fill out the form. I’m here to be a guide, if you so desire.


The Soul Reporter


Soul Work

Today’s Soul Report: Soul Work

Yesterday, I wrote about being open. Yesterday, I lived what I wrote. Today, I intend to do the same. But, back to yesterday- in my mind, I saw myself getting some work done in the afternoon, but instead I opened- and took some time with my morning pages. From there, I stood on the sidewalk and looked at the sky and all I wanted to do was walk. So I walked. As I walked, it became clear what my next step would be- to introduce Soul Work (I’ll say more about that in a minute).

When I returned from my walk, it was time to get my daughter and begin dinner. When I finally sat down to write out my plan for Soul Work, my daughter came in with some news. I put my work down and gave her all my attention. And then, I stayed up until 1:30 creating my ‘Soul Work’ page, located here on this blog (look up). The only reason I am telling you all these somewhat boring details is to share what I learned- if we stay open, every step to make the day complete and full, arrives. Had I not opened beyond my agenda-riddled mind, I would not have gone on a walk. Had I not gone on the walk, I may have, instead sat at the desk spinning my wheels, wasting time wondering what I should be doing.

See how efficient we can be, when we are OPEN.

Now- Soul Work. I am not going too far into what I mean by Soul Work (because I did that last night until almost 2 am and if you click here you can read more) but, one description I will give is a quote, which explains it: “The only useful purpose is to turn within and realize. There is nothing else to do.” (Ramana Maharishi) What I do want to go into more are reasons why this IS the only useful purpose.

Here is one reason:

The places unseen are what cause the most trouble.

The news my daughter gave me last night is too personal to share here, but what I will say is by coming to me, and sharing what what none of us saw, was we finally did see, and in us seeing, she could see even more. And for me this is what Soul Work is about. We tend to want change to be more complicated than this- you know, 10 steps to enlightenment sort of thing, but really it is about SEEING, and then it gets complicated because there is A LOT to see. But first steps, first….

So, if I were to give 10 steps to enlightenment, my first step would be to SEE. To LOOK. To PAY ATTENTION- to how you feel. What you think. Where you are standing right now. What you are holding inside. JUST STOP AND LOOK, and to help even more, share what you see with someone else. Maybe this is why confession was/is done. I never went, and when I see it in movies, it always looks kind of creepy, but there is something about confessing what we keep hidden- the secrets we don’t want anyone to know about, that shifts our behaviors. Because the places unseen are what cause the most trouble.

I will continue to share more reasons why Soul Work is the only useful thing to do.


The Soul Reporter

The Guru Teaches Arrogance- A Tough Lesson

Today’s Soul Report:

For awhile something was gnawing at me. Something big, but not big enough for me to see. A shadow, where every time I tried to turn around and see it, it would be behind me again. It wasn’t until I decided to get real honest with my journal and get real drill sergeant like and demand I see, declaring my readiness to see it- that I did. But first, I had to invite an experience into my life so I could see what it was that had been eluding me.

Arrogance runs deep

The culprit- arrogance. Arrogance runs deep, and comes out in many subtle ways, often barely noticeable, but since working with my own, I see it more clearly and see how subtle and deep this trait goes. It is destructive in its ability to separate and leave the other or others isolated, and it is sly, like a fox. It keeps weaving in and out so we don’t see it operating in its myriad ways.

Here are examples of some of those ways:

The experience I invited into my life was a conversation I never quite felt got finished with Marianne Williamson. I wrote a blog, and in this blog, I was sharing my experience with my inner perfectionist- how she talked to me, what she demanded of me- and I addressed her as Sergeant Williamson, seeing her as a combination of a spiritual teacher (I picked Marianne Williamson) and a drill sergeant. No harm done, at least not in my mind. I picked MW because she is a woman. I almost picked Wayne Dyer, but he’s a man and I wanted to make it relatable for me so I could work with this part of me that was making my life confused, miserable and inauthentic.

Ms. Williamson was adamant I was being catty. That I was harsh, and somehow she must have offended me or I would not speak so badly of her. Well, in my arrogance, perhaps a bit of courage, and the desire to take full advantage of an interesting opportunity to stretch, I tried to make spiritual teacher extraordinaire understand I was NOT talking about her. I wanted to have an effect on her evolution, and also really wanted her to let go of this story because it was not true, at least as I wrote it, so to move this further, I stood face to face with her after one of her Monday night lectures, something I would not have thought about if it had not been for one of her adoring fans telling me I must. I must talk to her. “It would be fun. We can go together,” she said. So I went, and the adoring fan never texted me back. The face-to-face exchange with Marianne was just as it was through Twitter, which is where she first contacted me and email, where she contacted me again.

There was no getting through to Marianne. She just would not get that I was not talking about her, and looked at me quizzically when I told her my process (naming it) of outing one of my parts that creates dysfunction in my life. I guess I was naive. I guess I thought I could have a conversation with someone who talks about God, love and forgiveness with some openess. Well after this meeting, I felt pretty good. Empowered. I stood my ground because I can’t nod my head with something I know isnt’ true. And I thought that opportunity had run its course.


A few days ago. My husband is a fan of her page and made a comment. Being curious I went to her page to see what he said. I don’t even know what he said, but I ran across a comment from her- “People can translate for themselves, and I appreciate those who don’t project all kinds of stuff onto my words that I didn’t say:)” I couldn’t help myself- and I told her “I know how you feel.” She responded, and said she would try and remember that, and also wondered why she (meaning me) is so intent on attacking her all of the time.

From here, a two day conversation began. Not with Marianne. We never heard from her again, but with some of her most loyal fans. In this exchange I saw many different and subtle aspects of arrogance, so much so it brought out my own- mostly in the form of the rebel who is going to call your shit out as I saw it. What I saw are some of the signposts I view as arrogant:

Subtly number one: People telling us their title, and we didn’t ask. Example, I am a psychologist. A doctor. A filmmaker. From said psychologist, I was told that I wasn’t in a very creative and intuitive place when I picked out the name Sergeant Williamson and if I were I would have not picked out Marianne’s name or Wayne’s. Which, brings me to…

Subtly number two: Giving advice when we didn’t ask. The ancients taught, do not teach unless asked. I didn’t ask for this woman’s advice about my writing (or Marianne’s when she told me she had been doing what she does for 20+ years and should really watch what I write). She was not at my writing desk as I wrote that post, and actually, the moment MW and the drill sergeant merged was one of brilliance that only happens when in the creative space.

Subtly number three: When people say “Been there. Done that.” I tend to be honest about how I feel and what I think and where I am in my evolutionary process. This said, I leave myself open for people to give me a lot of, “been there, done thats,” (and that advice I didn’t ask for) Oh, I used to compare myself to others; (which was said and assumed by a loyal follower from this exchange). Oh, I used to care what people thought of me; Oh, I used to be afraid but now I am not- “Been there. Done that.” Great. Super. Is that helpful though? Or does it increase their superiority and cause further isolation? Why say it, other than to prove you no longer struggle, to let us all know what step you aren’t on in your evolution. And if you are so over your stuff, can I now ask you for your advice because I want to be over mine too?

Subtly Number Four: It’s my way or the dumb-way. This exchange had me pretty much hating new agey, spiritual mumbo jumbo, and I used to be kind of into it, but I think I may have been into it because it was the only thing I thought was there that sort of got me. But, most of it isn’t deep enough. It’s too much about the end result- where we are all singing Kumbaya, and not enough about what it takes to get there or gives space for those who aren’t. For me if I am not authentically feeling it, I am not going to preach about it. And for me the only way I can authentically feel it, means I have to dig within myself and find all the obsrtuctions to my authentic joy. Have I had those moments? Yes. I think so. But I’m not done. I can’t speak on the eternal, authentic anything because my focus is to know thyself, or as Volatire says, to culitivate our own garden and this is ongoing, a process. But see, I’ve been arrogant about all of this. My way is the way, preaching my anthem of- please don’t waste your time preaching and pretending all this love and joy when you have so much darkness inside, that is being projected all over the place, that you aren’t owning. As much as I would like it to be everyone’s anthem and deal with stuff, I can only own it for myself. It is what works for me. If others want what I have in my garden, I will share, but the last few years, I’ve been lost in my own arrogance; my attachment to other’s evolution and feeling the pressure to help it along as if this is my duty, my “calling,” more than tending what I used to tend best- my own garden. And yet, I wasn’t out there enough pushing that either, to get people to go my way or the dumb way, which brings me to this lesson:

The fear of arrogance also runs deep.

My husband said recently, if I want to get my teachings, words, writing- basically myself “out there,” I am going to have to find my swag. Be a little cocky even. Oh, God no- how I could I? I resist being arrogant like that. There has to be another way….I would imagine most who are out there, had some swag/arrogance- or perhps a whole lot. Even Gandhi had swag in his own way. He put himself out there and was devoted to what he believed in. So, probably not too much wrong with some swag. But I was afraid of using it and how it might make me look. The fear of being arrogant was a bigger culprit, it would seem, and it wasn’t helping me not be arrogant. It was making me blind to it. We often become what we fear, and our not looking at what we fear doesn’t make it less dangerous or real.


I invited Marianne, along with some of her loyal fans, into my life to be mirrors of my own arrogance, and my fear of it. To bring out what was gnawing at me, so I could see it and name it, which is only the tip of the arrogance ice berg, and..


The lesson in arrogance will continue…

Today’s Soul Tip:

Seeing and naming what is deep within is only the beginning. This battle/learning opportunity is not over. It is on-going until I get all the way through it. What I have learned though so far is it is important for me to call out the arrogance. To understand it is a fierce opponent. The fear of it, worse. I don’t have to fear my arrogance, therefore I may begin exposing it, playing with it, at the risk of looking more arrogant than ever before. But I am not ready to own my pure humility, and my rebel certainly isn’t going to fake it.

There is more to the story- and if my focus is to cultivate my own garden, and everything in it, then the story will continue to unfold, and I believe it might have something to do with courage. I hope you will stay tuned…


The Soul Reporter

Investigating (with slight irritation) Certain Spiritual Teachings

Teaching up for investigation: “It’s not up to you what you learn, but only whether you learn through joy or through pain.” ~A Course in Miracles

Upfront disclaimer: If you hear a charge in this post, you are right on. I’m irritated with certain spiritual teachings (I’ll get through it, but right now I am learning in a slightly painful way). I think some teachings are only useful in keeping us away from the real work, which in the long term is not useful. This one (above) for example has those markings. So, let’s investigate- if I believe in this teaching, that would mean I have no possibility of insight into my lessons. There is some being somewhere in charge of what I need to learn. It would also mean that I have a choice whether I learn through joy or through pain. I would agree, we have choice- and if I am using my strong will, I can will myself to choose to learn through joy, instead of pain. I mean who the hell really wants to learn through pain…..?

But, can we be honest? I can’t be the only one who has learned a lot of my lessons through intense amounts of pain. Pain, I was so immersed in I didn’t have the will power to choose joy, to even think that was an option. Does this then make me weak? Insufficient because I chose to suffer instead of jump to those lessons with glee?

To learn in joy is a certain kind of mastery I don’t believe I could even talk much about (I don’t like to talk about ideas without having personal experience). I’m not there. I think it’s possible for those who have worked diligently and intently on their path, and gone through lots of pain, but for most of us common folk, still ignorant to our True nature, this type of spiritual teaching might not be helpful. It keeps us in the superficial layer of our spiritual growth, where we think we can control how we feel by will alone. And where some of us who have gone a bit deeper than the superficial layers might feel bad because we aren’t choosing our lessons through joy. There were many times, as much as I was inspired by Wayne Dyer’s teachings, I felt like a failure because I wasn’t all happy, happy, joy, joy and maintaing my spiritual perspective through my shit, my hand on the trolley strap, so to speak.

To go back to this teaching that it is not up to us what we learn- this makes me feel disempowered. I know there is a soul, and I know contained within this soul are my lessons. I believe these lessons are universal, and we will all learn them as we are ready, which means we are the ones who choose to receive those lessons or to put them off. I also know we are given the extraordinary gift of insight, which can be used to look within and have knowledge into our lessons. I also trust, as we evolve into this soul, we will be able facilitate and consciously prepare and participate in those lessons. We may not know how those lessons will come to us, but we can know they are coming and will remain open and ready to receive. This may be the point in which there is joy- a sort of anticipatory joy, like YAY! Today I am going to be stretched and I can’t wait because I want to grow. But so many of us are unaware of this going on inside of us so how can we consciously participate, let alone joyously (therefore not knowing might be a more comfortable belief for those wanting to stay safe on the shore). This means the lessons that do come are probably going to hurt like hell because we don’t know what is going on or why and we are resisting them all the way.

Looking for the positive:

What this spiritual lesson does do is bring awareness that there are lessons we will learn and are learning. That is essential to know. It gives perspective. It also brings awareness to choice of joy or pain, but it doesn’t go deep or wide or guide enough to where many of us are right now in our evolution- not where we can choose joy in a pure authentic way while we grow (but we can pretend :-). Having only read bits and pieces of ACIM, maybe it does do this throughout the book. What I did read, the words inspired higher aspects, but it wasn’t very grounding for me. I am not content only with ideals. I want to be those ideals, and that is quite a process of unraveling and discovering. It’s work. Often painful- just being honest.

Lesson: The most helpful teaching/teacher for me inspires my true nature, while also holding the space of where I am with insight, guidance and compassion.