To Sprawl

Today’s Soul Report:

What if we were to see our roots exposed like this tree? How long would they be? How far would they reach? What understanding would this sight bring of who we are and where we have been and where we are going?

I came upon this tree last week. Earlier that week, I had lost our family dog of almost 13 years. This tree brought solace. I sat upon its roots, within its deep crevices. Wisdom. This is what I thought when I first saw the tree. What wisdom it must have, and would it share some with me.

I asked for its message, its lesson for me. I heard the word sprawl. The word sprawl means to spread out over an area in an irregular or untidy way. At first glance, to an “untrained” eye, I suppose the roots do look irregular and untidy. If it were on a person’s personal property they may even be seen as a nuisance, worrying about the foundation they might crack. To my eye, which sees the so called untidiness of nature as beauty and in perfect order, these roots were the most beautiful and magical image I have seen.

But what does the word sprawl mean for me? There is beauty, adventure, magic and beyond this- natural instinct to sprawl- from within our center to outside- everywhere. To touch as much as we can. To reach and expand to and for our fullest potential in this bodily, earthly form.

In my fear. My hesitation. My ability to over-think and out-smart, so not to let too much in for fear I may feel too good or be hurt too badly, I’ve not sprawled and expanded like I long to, as this tree has. As this tree shows. That is its lesson for me. Reach. Expand. Sprawl as I have never done before.

Today’s Soul Tip:

I’ve noticed a certain joy creeping up inside of me in this week of my dog passing. The grief, tells me to be loyal- remember no joy. Something bad has happened. As sad as it was to watch my dog die, as someone said, the experience showed me who I am and who I was in those moments was open, vulnerable and courageous. I faced what I feared. Perhaps facing our fears sprouts our seeds of joy. But how can they grow, if I squash them with my loyalty to sadness and despair. It is not that I choose to deny my grief. I feel it when it is here, but I am also aware I am more comfortable in grief, sadness and despair than I am in joy. I must make room for that which I am unsure of.

When we are being stretched to go beyond what is comfortable, we might feel pissed off. Scared. Disloyal. We think we do not want to be moved beyond what’s pleasant, but actually we do want this. We want to be stretched. Moved. We long to sprawl. Expand. To reach to our fullest potential.

Namaste,

The Soul Reporter

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Today’s Soul Report:

A wonderful reader of The Soul Reporter, made me a bookmark:

Thanks, Anna

Receiving words of someone else about what I do here at The Soul Reporter gave me the echo I longed for. Someone is reading. Someone hears me. Someone can write about my work here so I don’t have to~ and this helps me get the word out. 
We all need support. In fact, we receive support every second. Nothing we do is done alone, although we often think that it is. We often tell ourselves, I’ll do it alone, instead of asking for help. I used to be one of these people. Today, on my walk through the canyon, I brought my hiking stick. Although I usually keep it in the trunk. When I use it, my walk is lighter. Easier. Beside me is an aluminum stick supporting me. Why keep it in the trunk of my car, as I suffer alone. 
In my life right now, there is a lot of pressure. And I don’t mean this in the way it is often understood- poor me, I’ve got so much on my plate. The pressure I feel is actually new life. Major shifts. Pieces coming together. Work that is ready to be done and due. It is like giving birth. I am in the final stages of labor. It’s time to push, and for me and my two births, the pushing was the hardest, the longest and the most intense. 
When I gave birth I had support. The first time, at age 20 I had lots of it. My father was at my right side, using his coaching skills- C’mon Nik Push. My husband was at the other side of me, probably holding his tongue so I didn’t yell at him, and all around me in a circle were his parents, my mom and of course a couple nurses and a doctor. I stood up. I squatted. I laid down. I got a huge needle stuck in me that made me numb. The vacuum/suction thing was used, which made an awful sound. Hours went by, and finally out came a healthy 8 lb 8 oz baby girl. It was June 18. My second child was born June 21. I give birth in June, and I understand the pressure I feel now is more birthing- but this time to new life- in the form of many ideas, ideas I have held for many years.  Offering this bookmark is one of those ideas. As a reader and subscriber to this blog, purchasing this bookmark is another way to give your support, and in exchange you receive a gift. 
If you are interested in purchasing The Soul Reporter Bookmark, you can send me an email at nikki@nikkisacredspace.com or you can click on this link and instantly be taken to paypal
I thank you for your support. 

Today’s Soul Tip:

In the process of birthing, I reach for my tools. The support of family and friends. Breath. Trees. God, and all that That means. How can you be supported today? 

Namaste, 
The Soul Reporter