Category Archives: domestic duties

An Ode (auhhh, maybe not an ode, but I like the title) to the Sigh

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My children say I sigh. Usually when I am in the kitchen. They make fun of me. Sigh behind my back and giggle.

What are you giggling about? Auhhh…..they say.

Do I sigh? Really? Do I?

Yes, mom. You sigh.

The kitchen at one time pleased me. This time has passed. Now I sigh (so I am told) as I wash the counter. Marinate a chicken breast. Clean a greasy pan. Make breakfast….again.

The sigh, the sound of the martyr. Auhhh. The sound of poor, distressed me. Universal, I suppose amongst many women. The sigh says, Save me from this. Take me away….I am a victim. And I certainly don’t want to be that person, right……?

Well, so what if you are that person in a moment (or several). So what if you are acting as The Sighing Martyr in your one-act play. Hating her moment. Resisting her work. Despising her routine. Bored and frustrated by her life. So what. I never wanted to be The Sighing Martyr. I hate people like that, right? Well I did. But of course me hating that part of them is also me hating that part of me- and hating something doesn’t clear the way. Loving might not either (if you force it), but laughing at it might.

I hear myself sighing now- and before my sigh’s hhh’s hit the air, I laugh. I think of my girls making fun of me, Auhhh-ing around the house (thinking, yeah- you just wait). I think of my inner martyr and how tortured she thinks she is, and how she wants to make everything a dramatic event. It’s funny. And it eases her.

What are you doing right now…………………………..? (Duh, your are reading this…Okay, before this….?)

Before I wrote this most inspired sentence, I was procrastinating. Trying to find a way out of my writing. Help me. Save me. (The martyr is quite adaptable. She can put on an apron and pick up a pen- in this case throw the pen) I watched me act her out, as together we have procrastinated many times. I usually judge myself/her/we for this. This time I didn’t. I loved myself/her/we for it (and I didn’t force it).

I love you for all that you do (and don’t do)– can you say this to yourself? If not, can you at least laugh at yourself?

When we can laugh and love, we take the u out of auhhh and it becomes ahhhh. The u is what gets offended. The u is who carries a story of what you u think u are. What u think u should do. Of what u hate and hope u are not. You are more than what u think/fear/believe.

Ahhhhhhhh…………………..

Namaste,

The Soul Reporter

Toss It

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A Pile of O's

Today’s Inspired Homemaking Report: Information Clutter

I was saving these O Magazines until the day I had an article published in one. Then, my daughter said, “Mom, why don’t you just save the ones you are published in.” Good idea, kid. And we moved to California- so I took my pile of O’s, along with my attachment to them, and donated them to a battered woman’s shelter. Now, I read my O and into recycling it goes.

When I taught classes on clutter, the biggest gripe was paper clutter. Mail. Bills. And piles of magazine and newspaper clippings, with the mental attachment title of “someday.” Someday, when I have time I want to read that 1975 article on how to knit a poncho. Why….?

Toss it. Here are the reasons I believe we accumulate information clutter:

~We believe we are dumb. Not smart enough. Why? School. Sure, some teachers knew the wise souls we are, and awakened and facilitated that part of us, but many others looked down on us in our tiny little desks and talked to us like we were nothing- blank slates needing to be filled with the knowledge only they could give.

Now we are all grown up physically, but mentally still think we are vacant containers needing filling. This is why all the experts do so well. We need them. Some of the information out there is wonderful-and needed. Look at me. My information is useful and wonderful, right? So I am not dissing on this. But- I want us to be clear on the why we are seeking the information. What is the intent? What filter is bringing this new information in?

~Distraction. Are we a little addicted to keeping our mind busy? Do we not like space? Time to just be with ourselves?

~Fear & Lack. If I don’t read this, I won’t know it. I want to look smart. I want to fix my flaws. I want to prove I’m okay.

~Superstitios. We believe if we save magazines, someday we will get published in them. Okay maybe that’s just me.

Here is my tip to help clear out the information clutter….

Inspired Homemaking Tip of the Day:

Get clear about your intention. If it captivates your curiosity- read it. If it resonates, it will stick and surface when needed. If you are only reading it out of fear and lack of not knowing something or to keep up with others or sitting alone with yourself with nothing to read or think about freaks you out- toss it. 

Wild Rice

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Original Posting in 2009:

Frantic. Home from work. Arguing with husband about dinner. Daughter and I are gluten and dairy free. Other daughter and husband are not. I’m irritated. I want us to eat together. But how can we?

I also don’t want to cook. I want to relax. To be fed without effort.

I go into the kitchen deciding I will try a new gluten free recipe- mad.

Thinking, why do I have to cook? I have things I want to do.
Write.
Exercise.
Relax.
Read.

Talk to husband about impending birthday of both our Gemini girls.

I take out the wild rice.
Why must I rinse it?
What a pain in the ass.

It’s getting it all over my hands as I try to wash away whatever I’m supposed to wash away.  And how will I drain it without losing it all down the kitchen sink drain?

I lose some grains.
I go to fill a pot. Let the water boil.
I touch the rinsed wild rice, and it occurs to me, as sometimes happens, this is a moment of opportunity to connect, in this case with my food.

But it doesn’t happen like that, as a thought of something I should do.
It occurs to me through the experience of touching the rice and noticing the sight with my eyes.

I am making food with my hands to nourish my body. Here in this space of homemaker I can reconnect, feel inspired and alive.

We often go from thing to thing missing these kinds of moments. That’s because they are in the spaces of our movement.

Have you had your wild rice moment yet today?

Put It Away

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Talk to me about the resistance to putting items away after you use them in your home…

Mail- what do you do with it after you get it out of the mail box? Do you make your bed every morning? What about your bath towel…? Are you like me and hang it up after you shower or like my daughter and keep it on your bed or dresser, damp?

The Handy Dandy Mail Cabinet

Maybe I have a disorder. Putting things away right after I use them. Opening the mail right when I get it and sorting it in my handy dandy mail cabinet. I don’t know, but if I do for me it is a helpful disorder. Not only does it create order inside my home, I think it might also deter chaos from coming into my home. What do you think?

Inspired Homemaking Tip of the Day:

For chaos free living in your home, put your stuff away after you are done using it. Don’t have a place for your stuff…? Well that’s a whole other topic. Our dog trainer said we want our new big dog to fit into our lives, not us fit into hers. For many of us we are allowing the piles of clutter to dominate our lives. Make your space yours by dealing with it before it deals with you. For further tips and suggestions, please comment or email me at nikki@nikkisacredspace.come or go to my Facebook page and we will chat there.

>The Kind of Faith….

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Our California Christmas Tree~
created during the weekend of domestic bliss

The Thanksgiving domestic “bliss” is over and I am glad.  There was a time when all things domestic pleased my soul.  I had a large home; a perfect laundry room and kitchen. Oversized closets and a large jacuzzi tub.  Life on the outside was good.

Today, life on the inside is better than ever, but life on the outside- not quite there yet.  I caught a snippet from a Wayne Dyer CD.  He says the birds sing before the dawn.  They know the sun is going to rise and sing their song. This, he says is the kind of faith we need to have. I resonate with this for the first time.

I find myself singing, even giggling inside about my current exterior situation.  I’m living on the edge, especially financially, but I don’t care.  The old me would never allow such behavior.  I can see the nodding heads of the nay-sayers, and I don’t care.   My hair hasn’t been cut and dyed in months. I live in a house for two when we have four. I have no income coming in (yet). My husband is unemployed (for now). My knees hurt.  I feel frumpy.  I’ve no friends. I stay inside.  Not sure if there will be toys under the tree.  And yet….

I feel good where it counts.  This is the kind of faith I do have, and it didn’t happen overnight.

Today’s Soul Tip:


Even though my exterior life has yet to shine, I am a proponent of moving forward into what scares you the most; for getting yourself highly uncomfortable and out of the safe zone.  I have a feeling a lot more in our exterior worlds, both globally and personally are going to collapse.  And as they do, you need the kind of faith that makes you sing right before the new dawn.

Namaste,
The Soul Reporter