These Moles

Today’s Soul Report: Beauty & Acceptance

Maybe it’s becoming more present. Or age. Or the dancing in the kitchen this morning to Madonna, but as I looked in the mirror this afternoon- skin fresh from a shower, the moles upon my skin- the ones my 11-year old says are ugly, and I often agree, were not ugly. They are on my skin. My body- a body, that in time, will no longer be here.

We spend so much time hating parts of our bodies, and I don’t mean to suggest my subtle moment of mole worship will now shut those voices up- but I do believe this subtle moment may awaken others. Others where I appreciate this body. This magnificent and brilliant body, which carries my soul. My breath. My essence. If nothing else it offers more moments of peace, admiration, and beauty over anxiety, failure and disappointment.

Namaste

The Soul Reporter

To Sprawl

Today’s Soul Report:

What if we were to see our roots exposed like this tree? How long would they be? How far would they reach? What understanding would this sight bring of who we are and where we have been and where we are going?

I came upon this tree last week. Earlier that week, I had lost our family dog of almost 13 years. This tree brought solace. I sat upon its roots, within its deep crevices. Wisdom. This is what I thought when I first saw the tree. What wisdom it must have, and would it share some with me.

I asked for its message, its lesson for me. I heard the word sprawl. The word sprawl means to spread out over an area in an irregular or untidy way. At first glance, to an “untrained” eye, I suppose the roots do look irregular and untidy. If it were on a person’s personal property they may even be seen as a nuisance, worrying about the foundation they might crack. To my eye, which sees the so called untidiness of nature as beauty and in perfect order, these roots were the most beautiful and magical image I have seen.

But what does the word sprawl mean for me? There is beauty, adventure, magic and beyond this- natural instinct to sprawl- from within our center to outside- everywhere. To touch as much as we can. To reach and expand to and for our fullest potential in this bodily, earthly form.

In my fear. My hesitation. My ability to over-think and out-smart, so not to let too much in for fear I may feel too good or be hurt too badly, I’ve not sprawled and expanded like I long to, as this tree has. As this tree shows. That is its lesson for me. Reach. Expand. Sprawl as I have never done before.

Today’s Soul Tip:

I’ve noticed a certain joy creeping up inside of me in this week of my dog passing. The grief, tells me to be loyal- remember no joy. Something bad has happened. As sad as it was to watch my dog die, as someone said, the experience showed me who I am and who I was in those moments was open, vulnerable and courageous. I faced what I feared. Perhaps facing our fears sprouts our seeds of joy. But how can they grow, if I squash them with my loyalty to sadness and despair. It is not that I choose to deny my grief. I feel it when it is here, but I am also aware I am more comfortable in grief, sadness and despair than I am in joy. I must make room for that which I am unsure of.

When we are being stretched to go beyond what is comfortable, we might feel pissed off. Scared. Disloyal. We think we do not want to be moved beyond what’s pleasant, but actually we do want this. We want to be stretched. Moved. We long to sprawl. Expand. To reach to our fullest potential.

Namaste,

The Soul Reporter

>The Beauty We Bring

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When the soul looks upon this Divine Sun, the brightness dazzles it….
And very often it remains completely blind, absorbed, amazed, and dazzled by all the 
Wonders it sees.  ~St. Teresa of Avila

We have to be ready for the kind of beauty we can bring. 

We must be prepared.  
It is because of this preparation, that the river I spoke of in the poem below, flows, and not floods.  (See Like a River)
I’ve been frustrated with myself for years.  Why can’t I bring it, I would scold myself.  I feel the beauty. I feel the wisdom inside of me, but dammit, why can’t I bring it (out)?
In many ways I wasn’t ready.  I had not opened enough.  I had not trusted enough. I was too backed up with other issues, which were creating sedentary behaviors, destructive patterns, and uninspired thoughts.
But I am here to tell you it is well worth the work, whatever that work might be, which allows the channels to open just enough for the beauty and wisdom within to shine through.  
Just as we may sit in awe of a sunset or a sunrise, and maybe be moved to tears by its falling or lifting before us; this kind of beauty, and more is inside us ALL.  And this kind of beauty could overwhelm,  and make those of us blind, who are not yet ready to succumb to our spiritual possession.  
Our Possession is this:  pure, innocent, vibrant beauty, joy, and grace that is alive and everywhere present within us. Just you wait and see.  See what your potential can be.  And trust right now you are being prepared and cleared of all that stands in your way of who you truly are.
Part of the clearing work, is to be brave and willing to look at the shadows which try to cast out the sun. Your “weak” spots, which when neglected can cause harm and destruction.  All they seek is an understanding and embrace from us, sometimes  just a simple look of compassion, or at least of wonder and curiosity.  
This look, if you believe in God, or Jesus, is how you might imagine them to look at you- with eyes of deep love, commitment and belief. Perhaps the way we wish our parents would have looked at us. I once heard it said, I believe by the author Toni Morrison: All children want to see is that our faces light up when they walk into a room.  
Many of us did not see those sparkling faces. Instead we saw frustrated, stressed out, angry tired and worn out faces. Parents who were distracted, and displaced in their own lives.   It wasn’t their fault, just like as many of us are parents now, it isn’t our fault.  But, let’s own our “weak” spots, and then let them go.  For we cannot fully surrender anyone or anything until we truly love what we fear and pretend we do not see.
By letting go, we can become the loving and generous parent to ourselves, our children and those around us.  One day when I was down about not feeling loved, honored, and seen, I saw these words peeking from my car’s sun visor:  God sees me.  
If no one else in this world sees me, at least I know God sees me.
As God looks upon us, let us begin to see the beauty everywhere on the outside and inside of us. Let us commit to being more invested in ourselves and others, and less distracted by our “weak spots.”  Let’s give it ALL our full attention, and light up ourselves, this world, and each other.
Namaste, 
Nikki