>Going Back to 15


Hey, I think exposing my inner guru in my post yesterday is working.

I’ve been meditating on and off for years. When I moved to California, I began working it daily. The urge to OM came from the gentle Voice Within.  It has been an organic movement.  I began with 10 minutes.  Then increased to 15. I liked it at 15. It worked. But apparently Sergeant Williamson (if you need to learn more about who she is, read this) wasn’t happy with this. She wanted more.  She wants me to be the spiritual hero, so I increased to 20. For a few days, it seemed doable, but then I began skipping a day, then two days. What is wrong, I wondered.

Well first of all, I am a rebel, but only when she, that guru, is pushing me. And when she pushes, like a good student, I try and obey, but eventually, I “fail” and again I am proven right- I’m a failure.

Oh, gosh how I am relieved to be ending this silly exchange.   So today, while in the shower I gave myself permission to go back to 15 minutes. I could feel butterflies rising out of my belly. Bliss. I can do what feels natural, and not what feels forced.  What a delight to see how free I can be, as  Sergeant Williamson fades into the background.

A Word on Meditation:

Sergeant Williamson wanted to look at you

Yesterday, Oprah interviewed Goldie Hawn. Although I kept asking my daughter, “Is Goldie on stage? Because all I hear is Oprah talking.  Anyway… she was on to talk about happiness and according to research, which truly doesn’t impress me much, having moments in silence is proven to create happiness. Now, I won’t look at you like Oprah looked at her audience and scold you for not sitting in silence for at least a minute a day. For all I know you do, and for more than a minute.  But, I will say meditation is a gift we can offer ourselves.  And it’s an interesting gift. Actually quite the perfect gift.

You can evoke your gift with an altar, or any special place.  You can pick a certain time, or be flexible, epecially if you too have a Sergeant Williamson at your back. You can be easy about your time. When I first “seriously” began my practice in 2004, I did what all perfectionists do, I went for the gold right off the bat and sat for 30 minutes. Umm, yeah. After day two, I was ready to quit. Instead, I began with five minutes and worked up as I felt ready, or provoked.

My practice now consists of picking one of three or four prayers and poems and focusing on each word. The guru tells me I should only adhere to one, but again I rebel and do the one that picks me when I sit down.  I light a candle, grab my rose quartz and begin…”Lord, make me an instrument of thy….” I wonder what we should have for dinner…oh, shoot- Lord, make me an instrument of thy pea…” I really should go out for a walk today. It’s nice outsi….“Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love……

The gift of meditation is subtle.  If you go in with no expectations, it will be your ever-expanding, mysterious companion.

Today’s Soul Tip:

Come to know your companion.  Take the gentle path.  Allow flexibility. Restore patience. Watch for butterflies emerging from your belly.  And take that scornful look off your face. You’re beautiful.

The Soul Reporter

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