Thanks to those who rev up our pride so that we may see its face
I went to the gym to workout with my husband this morning. After our work out, we sat in his car and talked. He asked me if I was hungry. I said, “I’m not sure.” My body was fed by my workout, and I had all the nourishment I needed.
He was hungry and suggested bacon, eggs and toast. We went to the store for bacon, and on our way home my stomach started to grumble. I said, “I feel hungry now.” My husband chuckled and said, “I find it funny how the person who says she knows herself wasn’t sure she was hungry.” Pissed….and feeling threatened, I let him know.
Dammit, I do know myself. What the hell are you talking about? I told you I wasn’t sure if I was hungry because I didn’t know. That was my truth at the moment. Then, 20 minutes later my body felt hungry and I told you. I always frickin’ share who I am in the moment. How many people do you know who do this? And I always try to share honestly and with integrity. Just because I change my mind or feel something different doesn’t mean I don’t know myself. I pride myself in knowing who I am.
And there it was, pride. A word which came up again last night by my lovely daughter who pointed out her momma’s pride as I went on and on about how I hate when people use “2” instead of “to” and “b” instead of “be” and “u” instead of “you” and “lol” for a laugh, when they write texts and updates. I write with full sentences and always use periods and commas, and even add paragraphs. Alyssa said, “Wow mom, you are really proud of yourself for that, aren’t you?
Fuck, she was right. I am really proud of this. World, see me shine with my use of the written word. Aren’t I wonderful…..?” (You don’t have to answer)
Pride was not an anchor I believed I possessed. I thought it best used by men, like my husband, whose pride I often call out. But, as I defended myself against my husband, I realized he hit me in that place of pride and our argument wasn’t him vs me. It was me vs me. Me showing me a glimpse of my pride. Me showing me how pride is at the bottom of many arguments. Me showing me how pride ruffles my feathers and paves the way for attack, which seems essential to maintain my livelihood. But is it?
How important is it to have a high opinion of one’s self and then to let others know? Apparently, very important until we see our shadow in the light of pride, or perhaps see our light in the shadow of pride.
Today’s Soul Tip
Watch for signs of pride. What are you most proud of? To what lengths will you go to defend it? What might be its remedy? Perhaps instead of a proud lion’s roar, we take a deep lion’s breath. When pride shows its face, be silent and trust in truth, for Truth is who we are and the Truth needs no defending.
The Soul Reporter