“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strong pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi
From out of the blue, the word “kismet” sprang to my mind. For quite some time I have been meaning to write a blog on destiny. It was to be a part II of a Part I, I wrote back in June about failure. In that post I suggested that destiny is the antidote to failure. However, when I first began writing it, I thought the antidote would be discipline. Now, almost 6 months later, I see it is both, and that now is the time to write part II. It is simply kismet.
Looking at the two “D” words, discipline and destiny, I am sure it is safe to say we tend to like destiny over discipline, right? Destiny, as defined in the dictionary is: the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person or thing in the future • the hidden power believed to control what will happen in the future; fate. Destiny is mysterious, miraculous and seems to just happen to us out of the blue. Discipline, however is something we must initiate and do. It’s work.
The definition is: to train oneself to do something in a controlled and habitual way. Words like controlled, habitual and train will make a person like me want to run for the hills, and not my dad’s spartan hills either (you will have to read Part I to see what I am talking about). Yet, there is no telling what my destiny might have been had I continued to run those hills. This is why we can’t have destiny (and when I say destiny here, I mean the greater destiny which is possible for us) without the discipline. Let me give you an example.
In O Magazine, the April issue, there is an article about Barack Obama, and others like him who they define as conscientious people. Of the characterisitics of conscientious people, being self-disciplined is one. They give an example of Barack Obama when he was in college. He used to be the “cool” guy, but a friend told him he was becoming a bore. He had begun to concentrate on his studies, he was running three miles a day, fasting on Sundays and he quit smoking pot. This took amazing self-discipline, and in case you didn’t know- look what seat he now holds. It is simply kismet, this man is now our President. And why? Because he committed to certain disciplines to initiate his greater destiny.
But how? How can we warm up to self-discipline and commit to behaviors that we know will enhance our lives, and state of being, and initiate our greater destiny? For me, I can share in order to commit, I must connect. Example- I have been living gluten and dairy free (not absolutely every meal, everyday, but pretty darn close) for 6 months. This commitment seemed to have come from out of the blue, but in fact I was struggling with my diet, health and weight for a long, long time trying new behaviors here and there. The connection for me was feeling good, realizing how bad I was feeling. Hormonally, I was off. My weight was up. I felt heavy, bloated, and foggy in my head. Not to mention I have a deep desire to grow old as gracefully and healthy as I can.
So when a nutritionist suggested I give up gluten and dairy, it was simply kismet. I was willing to learn more, and the more I learned, the more inspired I became. The better I felt, the more committed I became. Now, my weight is coming off. I feel better, and my hormones are leveling.
When we connect to a greater pursuit, like for me to feel better, balancing hormonally, and growing old gracefully, a higher force takes over, and commitment to do whatever it takes begins to move us. This is why willpower alone doesn’t work. We can will ourselves to change, and do better, but somehow we “fail.”
To me willpower is based in fear, where we are moving from a space of failure, which says I am not good enough. Something is lacking. Something needs to be fixed, so I must push and will a set of behaviors, which will produce an outcome that will show the world, and myself I am okay. This kind of behavior may bring results, but not long standing ones. And probably not ones, which will lead us to our greater destiny.
Discipline, however (again, for me) is more Self-directed. It comes from a conscious place where we are choosing to commit to behaviors, trusting in the outcome, which will perhaps lead us to our greater destiny. Being disciplined in this way allows for the steps to appear and the pieces to fall into place. It is a type of conscious commitment we make everyday because we know there is something more inside of us to bring out.
This greater destiny to bring out, is at our core- and as the definition of destiny states, is a hidden power. This hidden power hides under fear, and until we excavate the fears, life will be much harder. In the example above of Barack Obama, it wasn’t until he committed to the behaviors which, would move him to greater heights, did he move into his greater destiny of being President Barack Obama. And it was also his destiny to be the “cool” guy smoking pot, and whatever else he did before making the shift. There is always a story before we come to realize our greater destiny. Reminds me of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz:
Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?
You don’t need to be helped any longer.
You’ve always had the power to go back to
Then why didn’t you tell her before?
Because she wouldn’t have believed me. She
had to learn it for herself.
What have you learned, Dorothy?
Well, I — I think that it — that it
wasn’t enough just to want to see Uncle
Henry and Auntie Em — and it’s that — if
I ever go looking for my heart’s desire
again, I won’t look any further than my own
backyard. Because if it isn’t there, I
never really lost it to begin with! Is
That’s all it is!
But that’s so easy! I should have thought
of it for you.
I should have felt it in my heart.
No. She had to find it out for herself.
Now, those magic slippers will take you
home in two seconds!
Dorothy always had the hidden power to go home. If we never knew Barack Obama, he would still hold the power to be President. And they, like we, must learn for ourselves by going through our own land of oz, where we meet lions, and witches, and fierce little monkeys along the way, who challenge and show us our fears and our strengths. It is all simply kismet, and doesn’t it make you wonder what hidden kismet you hold inside of you?
“From the emptiness comes forth your dream, through the power of clear intention, through the wisdom of equanimity and compassion, through right action that builds and brings things to clear conclusion. These three building fires exist within each of us, as spirals of energy ever moving, ever bringing forth the fruits of intention and desire.” ~Dhyani Ywahoo
We may fear the emptiness within ourselves. But this is only because we don’t yet know ourselves in deeper ways. We may resist this knowing because unconsciously we may believe our true essence is of nothing but failure and corruption- or as some of us were told in our religions, original sin. And because of this, for a long, long time we may move from this place, instead of digging deeper where our true intention/destiny lies.
Moving from intention, means we are in a state of being, rather than doing. If our doing is based in fears and insecurities, our movement will be rigid, tight, and controlled. If we are moving from destiny/a state of being, our movements will be the opposite. We will flow, and trust, like a river. Within this river we will continue to brush up against rocks and branches, that will show us our fears and strengths, but at each bend we will become stronger. Wiser. And find the favor of grace. Grace is the water in which we flow within our destiny.
This flowing river is our destination. Everything is born from this space.
It is God’s womb.
I lived the first part of my life thinking there was something wrong with me, that something was missing. The Perfectionist came in to cure my ills, and put order to my chaos. She rearranged my life so it would be just right. She is useful, no doubt, and has skills which are true. However, in light of the revelation that failure is not at the core of her being, she can choose to be free. Unleashed. Bound by nothing but her own pure and simple truth, which says all is well. Nothing is broken.
My conclusion of all past and future kismet- I am perfectly flawed, therefore I will be moved closer and closer to my greater destiny.
What is real and authentic lingers forever and ever. Anything else will dissolve. The journey is about becoming more conscious, so we can co-create the lives of our higher calling. Therefore, it is up to us to choose from where we are going to move while we here on earth.
The Soul Reporter
>Nikki, this is one of the best posts I read in a while. Thank you! When we find our passions, our true goals and desires, when we find the our True Selves, it is easy to commit and to follow through. Just find what it is you truly want and what your purpose in life is, all the resources to reach it are already inside of you. I loved the Wizard of Oz quote. Thank you!
>I love the thoughts on discipline. I have struggled with this forever and agree that it needs to come from a sense of our wholeness and possibilities rather than our defects.