>Bye-Bye Sweets

>It is safe to say I have always had a problem with sugar, especially chocolate.  I quit once, but it didn’t last. I have done two squares of chocolate a day- that only worked for awhile- until I ate more.  Recently I have watched myself eat sugar at least three times a day- after breakfast, after lunch, and after dinner.  When there wasn’t any obvious chocolate or sweets in the house I went into the pantry, opened up a mason jar full of chocolate chips and popped them into my mouth like aspirin.  

The fascinating realization about this behavior is I did not judge it. I was interested in it, but not shamed by it.  I just watched myself eat and eat and eat, sometimes wondering what was going on with me to make me want to eat so many sweets.  A month or so ago I was watching Dr. Oz on Oprah. He was speaking to smokers, telling them to pick a quit date.  I decided I wasn’t any different than the smokers, and picked one for myself. The first date that came to me was March 10.  I had no idea if this was a Monday or a Friday, but March 10 it was, and once I committed to that date in my own mind I realized it was 6 days before my 36th birthday. Seemed strange, and a bit crazy to pick  a date right before the usual birthday cake and ice cream.  
Reframe- I decided this would be a wonderful birthday present to myself.  March 10 approached and I noticed a natural decrease in my usage.  By March 9, I was passing up dessert. I got through March 10th and 11th just fine.  Reading the book A New Earth, I have chosen to go through this experience, much like I did while eating sweets- from the observer’s perspective.  The observer is not addicted, therefore it is the best space for me to hang out. But today was tough.  Mid-afternoon I started to get foggy in my head and low in my energy. My body and mind wanted something sweet.  The day before when I had this craving I automatically went for the mason jar of chocolate chips before I caught myself and closed the pantry door.  
Going through the intense craving today, and not giving in- I knew how much I had identified with my sweet intake. I have had a rough couple of months and I was literally looking for something sweet- some sort of satisfaction to make myself feel better- and here I thought I was not one of those emotional eaters.  I also see how I have the opportunity to dig even deeper within myself to find something sweet and satisfying inside of me and pull it out. I trust once this begins to happen the cravings will cease to exist inside my body and mind. 
For today, I missed sugar. I thought about the chocolate melting in my mouth and easing the stress in my soul, much like the inhale by the smoker.  Today I feared how I would cope if I never had the satisfaction of chocolate melting in my mouth again.   I can only take it three days at a time. It is almost 10pm and it is safe for me to say I did make it three days.  I will observe how the next three will be.  

4 thoughts on “>Bye-Bye Sweets

  1. >I feel pretty good today. Every once and awhile I feel the loss- wondering, will I ever have chocolate again. I guess it doesn’t really mater. I have replaced my sweet desires with fruits- especially now Monavie. I feel much better, healthier and notice I can easily access the abundant energy within me- instead of stuffing it down with sweets.Thanks for asking.

  2. >Good for you, Nikki! I see by today’s post that you’re two weeks in. Congratulations. I once went on a macrobiotic diet for health reasons and you’re right — the way to make these tremendous changes is acceptance, period.You’re on the journey.

  3. >Yes, two weeks! Yesterday was a tough, but I made it. The challenge I find is I do not want to will myself not to eat the sweets- that always backfires. For the most part I am coming from intention and choice- and often when I do give myself permission to eat them I usually choose not to.

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